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Thread: I hesitate posting this..

  1. #1
    Registered User cookie G's Avatar
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    I hesitate posting this..

    But I'll consider it a form of self therapy and wrapping my head around something. So ignore it if you wish.

    A few months ago, someone posted a thread about what your perfect woman is. I posted that I married mine.

    Yesterday, I found out I'll be losing my perfect woman. The news wasn't just out of left field, but a few parking lots beyond left field. She's in the advanced stages of pancreatic cancer that has spread to her liver and a bit to her lungs. A full CT in March showed nothing, nor did her blood work in March show any markers. We found out through her annual physical a few days ago, and a ultrasound and CT yesterday.

    Her reaction to this bombshell was/is...in a word, incredible. Her first reaction wasn't any form of self pity. Rather, she was worried how it would affect me, and her 2 boys, and her mom, and her friends. Not a word about how this affects her. If you knew her, you'd understand her reaction.

    Later, when it was just her and I in her hospital room, she looked me in the eyes and said, "I'm not afraid." She bypassed denial, depression, anger, etc and moved right to acceptance. She then continued saying that she wanted it to keep going the way it has been, that we continue to talk, continue to enjoy each other's company, and continue to laugh at the little things in life. Yeah, I know, it sounds a bit Jim Valvanoish, but its what I hope we do. In other words, she wants to keep things light. I've done my best, so far. When I need to cry, I move outside.

    Her Bucket List was her 2 boys, they are and were her life. She regrets that she won't see them get married, but also knows that she raised them from cute little babies to fine young men. Nothing has made her more proud.

    I look for life lessons in certain situations and I admit, this is my first experience in losing a soul mate. It will be my last.

    Right now, I can only say...cherish those you love. Don't get caught up in petty squabbles that mean little in the grander scheme of things. Look to the good in your significant other, and why you fell in love with him or her.

    To many, she will be missed, to me she is irreplaceable. Cherish your irreplaceable one.

    Now I need to step outside.

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  3. #2
    Registered User Woodman's Avatar
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    Re: I hesitate posting this..

    Heart breaking and at the very same time uplifting.

    Bless your family.

    Thanks for sharing something that really matters.

    In the words of the famous boxer, Jack Jenkins, “don’t take this ass whipping personally”
    GO BUFFALO!!

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    cookie G (01-02-2020)

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    Proudly victimizing the victimizer's victimizer and cracking soreheads Tailgunner Joe's Avatar
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    Re: I hesitate posting this..

    I am so sorry to read this.

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    cookie G (01-02-2020)

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    Proudly victimizing the victimizer's victimizer and cracking soreheads Tailgunner Joe's Avatar
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    Re: I hesitate posting this..

    Is there anything we can do to help you guys during this time, I mean more substantial than thoughts and prayers?

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    cookie G (01-02-2020)

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    Re: I hesitate posting this..

    I can't think of anything to say that wouldn't sound utterly banal.

    My heart goes out to you and your family.

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    Re: I hesitate posting this..

    My heartfelt wishes for a favorable outcome for all involved, and strength throughout the process.
    A year or so ago, a work colleague of mine from received the exact same diagnosis.
    We have a very active work website forum, and he stated he would post his thoughts on the situation as it evolved.
    He did so over the may months of his struggle.

    One of the things he mentioned when the outcome became indisputable was that he felt a great peace in the epiphany he had come to that the only things that mattered to him were his family, his faith and his friends.
    He stated that he had come to realize that everything else is just nonsense, and implored those who read his words to come to that conclusion far earlier than he had.

    God Bless you and her, and may all benefit from the peace she seems to have come to.

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    Registered User jamze132's Avatar
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    Re: I hesitate posting this..

    I’m so sorry to hear this cookie...

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    Dumber than the average blonde :-) Blondie's Avatar
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    Re: I hesitate posting this..

    Well that made me cry..

    I am so sorry, Cookie. To be honest, this is one of my biggest fears. You have an amazing better half, that's for sure. I am truly sorry for you and your family.
    My Mistake ~~ Sparty

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    Registered User DraftBoy's Avatar
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    Re: I hesitate posting this..

    I’m so sorry to hear this Cookie. If there is anything any of us can do, please don’t hesitate to ask.
    COMING SOON...
    Quote Originally Posted by Dr.Lecter
    We were both drunk and Hillary did not look that bad at 2 AM, I swear!!!!!!

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    RABBI Haile SpikedLemonade's Avatar
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    Re: I hesitate posting this..

    Prayers to you and yours Cookie.

    Please share here whatever you wish to help you in some small way to cope with this challenge.
    Last edited by Haile SpikedLemonade; 12-15-2019 at 08:18 AM.

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    Well, lookie here... YardRat's Avatar
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    Re: I hesitate posting this..

    YardRat Wall of Fame
    #56 DARRYL TALLEY
    #29 DERRICK BURROUGHS#22 FRED JACKSON #95 KYLE WILLIAMS

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    Registered User feldspar's Avatar
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    Re: I hesitate posting this..

    Ah, ****.

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    cookie G (01-02-2020)

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    Re: I hesitate posting this..

    Jesus, friend. I'm so sorry. I cant wrap my head around that feeling and I hope I never have to.

    Again, I'm so sorry, and I wish I had more to say. But this just seems so unfair.

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    cookie G (01-02-2020)

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    The Meathead of Muslims! ticatfan's Avatar
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    Re: I hesitate posting this..

    She is one strong women. I need to go outside.
    I admire china because their basic dictatorship is allowing them to actually turn their economy around on a dime.
    PM Justin Trudeau.

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    Re: I hesitate posting this..

    How terrible. Both my parents died of pancreatic cancer. My mom at 58, my dad at 79. I worry about it every day.

    The thought of losing my most wonderful wife of 29 years frightens me....as does my own death, which at 64 years old is fast approaching. I find solace in my children who remind me of the most important things I have ever done in my life....be a good father and husband.

    Nothing any of us can say will smooth the tragedy of losing a loved one....all we can say is that we are thinking of you and your family and hope you weather this storm that will all eventually will face, with love, understanding and togetherness.

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    Registered User sukie's Avatar
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    Re: I hesitate posting this..

    Words cannot express what I am feeling. Most of us have never met yet I feel in some way we know each other and because of a town and a football team , we are friends.

    I deal with cancer day in and day out ... Triumphs and tragedies but this closer to home.

    a friend , diagnosed with stage 4 stomach with Liver and lung metastasis.

    chemo after chemo and test after test

    3 years ago he spoke to a group of medical students and physicians about his journey and the unexplainable success.

    currently 7 years cancer free. His journey continues against all human odds.

    the universe has the map for all of us.

    peace brother.

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  33. #17
    Dumber than the average blonde :-) Blondie's Avatar
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    Re: I hesitate posting this..

    Sukie, that is AWESOME!!!

    I am a scrapper. I would fight with everything I have to try and beat the odds.

    Cancer sucks.

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    cookie G (01-02-2020)

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    Raging hypocrite and resident troll
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    Re: I hesitate posting this..

    Quote Originally Posted by cookie G View Post
    But I'll consider it a form of self therapy and wrapping my head around something. So ignore it if you wish.

    A few months ago, someone posted a thread about what your perfect woman is. I posted that I married mine.

    Yesterday, I found out I'll be losing my perfect woman. The news wasn't just out of left field, but a few parking lots beyond left field. She's in the advanced stages of pancreatic cancer that has spread to her liver and a bit to her lungs. A full CT in March showed nothing, nor did her blood work in March show any markers. We found out through her annual physical a few days ago, and a ultrasound and CT yesterday.
    I'm so sorry to hear this! What devastating news to receive at ANY time, much less this close to a holiday. Thank you for trusting us enough to share the news in such a (relatively) public manner.

    I have three different perspectives on this. 1) The power of prayer, taken combined with God's will. I will pray for your wife and your whole family. 2) I am from a medical family, so I believe in the efficacy of modern medicine. To a point. Based on what you're describing, it's unlikely your wife's outcome will be reversed by means of modern medicine. They would be better off making her comfortable. 3) We were just talking about health in the past two weeks on this board, there's a thread down below where we're talking about extending humans' life expectancy. In that thread I happened to post a video about a guy who had an advanced form of cancer that involved his pancreas, lungs, bones. He is now cancer free after having taken some dog dewormer, I kid you not. He isn't the only person to have had success with this dog dewormer stuff.

    As ridiculous as it sounds on the face of it, this really falls into the 'what do you have to lose by trying it' category. I haven't done much research on it, but i'm sure if you googled around you could find out more. The medicine is for dogs and is called fenbendezole.

    Medicine For Dogs Studied At Possible Cancer Treatment For People

    Deworming Pill May Be Effective In Treating Cancer



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    Not quite Best in the World.... ckg927's Avatar
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    Re: I hesitate posting this..

    I have no other words except to say....

    DAMN.
    "Do I have everybody's attention now?" -CM Punk, Monday Night RAW, 7/11/2011

    "I will tell anyone who doesn't like the fact that I march to the beat of my own drummer: Kiss my ***. Stay the hell out of my way."
    -Jon Moxley, AEW Dynamite, 10/29/19

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    Legendary Zoner coastal's Avatar
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    Re: I hesitate posting this..

    How old are your kids Gil?

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    cookie G (01-02-2020)

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