PLEASE grade my essay SERIOUSLY

[The Spaz]

Originally posted by BillsOwnAll
a 69 aint failing. 59 and below is failing.

The last year I was in High Scholl failure was a 70 or below.

[RedEyE]

I'd like to nominate this thread into the BFZ HOF. I'm laughing so hard my stomach hurts.

[mybills]

poor BOA!

Smoking doesn't lead to other drugs...people do.

[SabreEleven]

Originally posted by Dozerdog
But a big for you to come here and ask for help. Think of us as 50 substitute parents.


How about you and Uncle Dozer light one up over a few beers?

Keep your pants on around "Uncle Dozer" if you get my drift

[mybills]

Hey BOA, I just had my 11th grade daughter read this. Here's what she had to say.

1. It's too repetitive, and you have at least 10 sentences that start with the word 'smoking'.
2. Grammar & spelling are part of EVERY rubric.
3. You combined facts & opinions, where the latter should only be in your argument.
4. Agree's that it'll only get you a low B or C grade.

[lordofgun]

Originally posted by RedEyE


I'd like to nominate this thread into the BFZ HOF. I'm laughing so hard my stomach hurts.

I second.

[Dozerdog]

Originally posted by mybills
Hey BOA, I just had my 11th grade daughter read this. Here's what she had to say.

1. It's too repetitive, and you have at least 10 sentences that start with the word 'smoking'.
2. Grammar & spelling are part of EVERY rubric.
3. You combined facts & opinions, where the latter should only be in your argument.
4. Agree's that it'll only get you a low B or C grade.

She single?

Maybe she can hook up with BOA-

[Voltron]

OK this is a Fragment

Its hurts your pets and the wild life around you

[mybills]

NOT!

[Voltron]

Have you ever heard of a thesaurus?


No it is not a Dinosaur

[Voltron]

OK please don't kill me guys. I have never been a very good writer but I can BS with the best of them

BOA I have rewritten the opening paragraph so you can see what a Thesaurus can do for you. I won't promise the grammar is perfect but I think this flows much better and is less repetitive.


Smoking cigarettes has been proven to be detrimental to your health and the health of others. It is this writer’s opinion that it should be illegal throughout the world. It has been confirmed to cause cancer in a majority of people that smoke. Smokers not only hurt themselves, some studies have shown that it may cause asthma and other respiratory problems in children and adults. Cigarette butts littered all over the side of the road can cause damage to wildlife and the environment as well.

[yle]

Originally posted by Voltron
OK please don't kill me guys. I have never been a very good writer but I can BS with the best of them

BOA I have rewritten the opening paragraph so you can see what a Thesaurus can do for you. I won't promise the grammar is perfect but I think this flows much better and is less repetitive.


Smoking cigarettes has been proven to be detrimental to your health and the health of others. It is this writer’s opinion that it should be illegal throughout the world. It has been confirmed to cause cancer in a majority of people that smoke. Smokers not only hurt themselves, some studies have shown that it may cause asthma and other respiratory problems in children and adults. Cigarette butts littered all over the side of the road can cause damage to wildlife and the environment as well.

There is NO way she'll buy that he wrote that.

[LtBillsFan66]

Originally posted by mybills
Hey BOA, I just had my 11th grade daughter read this. Here's what she had to say.

1. It's too repetitive, and you have at least 10 sentences that start with the word 'smoking'.
2. Grammar & spelling are part of EVERY rubric.
3. You combined facts & opinions, where the latter should only be in your argument.
4. Agree's that it'll only get you a low B or C grade.

What BOA Reads:

blah, blah, blah hmmmmm 11th grade... I wonder of she's hot. blah, blah, blah

[Voltron]

Originally posted by yledust



There is NO way she'll buy that he wrote that.

I know but I wanted to show him what a Thesaurus can do for you


Hell I don't care if he copies it because he will have a decent opening paragraph and the rest will look like crap so his teacher will know he didn't do his own work.

[socalfan]

Even if you were to fix up the entire essay, the teacher would still know that BOA didn't write it because it wouldn't resemble anything that he has ever written in his life.