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Thread: PLEASE grade my essay SERIOUSLY

  1. #1
    My IQ Test results came back negative BillsOwnAll's Avatar
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    PLEASE grade my essay SERIOUSLY

    please just give it what you think it deserves. i had to write a persuavive essay on something i had to wirite an opening/closeng 3 reasons why its bad 1 para graph why its good and defend it. please odnt joke here. here it is.

    Persuasive essay


    Smoking cigarettes are bad for you and should be illegal throughout the world.. It can give can you cancer and cause harm to the people around you. It causes harm to the environment too. Cigarettes can lead to more harmful drugs also.

    There are many reasons smoking is bad for you. The smoke that you breathe in goes to your lungs and after many years it causes you to have a hard time breathing and can be a serious problem when you get lung cancer. About 4.84 million people die a year worldwide form smoking related dieses. (http://www.no-smoking.org/sept03/09-12-03-1.html 1-10-04.). Half of that total was people from developed countries. It can also cause dental problems such gingivitis. It can cause you to lose your voice box and have to have surgery just to be able to talk. Smoking cigarettes is the leading preventable cause of death. Smoking cigarettes is a serious health issue in the world.
    If you smoke a cigarette you aren’t just kill yourself, your hurting the people around you. All the smoke you exhale gets breathed in by other people, in other words “second hand smoke”. Second hand smoke is bad for kids whose parents smoke around them. It causes them to want to start smoking and starts killing their lungs at a young age. Second hand smoke harms children the worst. Over 4000 babies die in the US each year from smoking related causes from there parents.. Many children whose parents smoke develop pneumonia and wheezing more often then children’s who parents don’t smoke. (http://www.stopsmokingsupport.com/hurting.htm 1-13-04). Smoking can take off up to 12 years of your life. If you die 12 years before expected that limits your chances of your grandchildren being able to see you as they grow up. Smoking causes many bad things for other people.
    Smoking has a lot of environmental issues also. Smoking causes 33% of all wild fires because of people throwing away there cigarettes. It also is the cause to many car accidents, form people tiring to light their cigarettes while driving or looking for their cigarettes. (http://www.stopsmokingsupport.com/hurting.htm 1-13-04). Smoking is a main cause of liter too. When people drive, walk, or smoke anywhere than have nowhere to put their butts they throw them on the ground. That cause harm to many things. Some of the butts get washed into lakes or streams and kill off some fish that try to eat them. Some butts get picked up by birds who use them for nest and get killed by the chemicals in them. The chemicals in the smoke that comes form the cigarette also cause harm to the air and o-zone layer. The o-zone layer is slowly depleting and smoking is a main reason. Smoking doesn’t just you it hurts the environment.

    Some people say smoking relives depression. But really it just adds to it. It relives depression for you when you smoke the cigarette but when you get older and are in the hospital when your 60 it adds to the depression. People also say how its their life and they’ll do what they want. But its really not just there life it cause harm to everyone and everything when they smoke. They are not many arguments why smoking is good because its not.
    Smoking should be illegal and none should smoke. It kills you and kills other people. Its hurts your pets and the wild life around you. It causes harm to your family and other people around you. It can cause your kids to start smoking also. Smoking is the number 1 preventable cause of death.

  2. #2
    Registered User LtBillsFan66's Avatar
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    What grade are you in?

  3. #3
    My IQ Test results came back negative BillsOwnAll's Avatar
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    10th. college prep class.

  4. #4
    Registered User LtBillsFan66's Avatar
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    Even for a 4th or 5th grade paper, I would give it a D-.

  5. #5
    My IQ Test results came back negative BillsOwnAll's Avatar
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    BTW i indented on the paragraphs dont know why it didnt indent when i posted it.

  6. #6
    My IQ Test results came back negative BillsOwnAll's Avatar
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    Originally posted by billsfanone
    Even for a 4th or 5th grade paper, I would give it a D-.
    its peopel like you who piss me off.

  7. #7
    Registered User LtBillsFan66's Avatar
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    Originally posted by BillsOwnAll
    10th. college prep class.
    Fix the grammar!

    It can also cause dental problems such gingivitis.

  8. #8
    Registered User LtBillsFan66's Avatar
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    Originally posted by BillsOwnAll
    its peopel like you who piss me off.
    You wanted honesty. Take your time and re-write it.

  9. #9
    My IQ Test results came back negative BillsOwnAll's Avatar
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    Originally posted by billsfanone
    Fix the grammar!

    It can also cause dental problems such gingivitis.
    see thats the help i need form you. damn spell checker didnt catch that.

  10. #10
    My IQ Test results came back negative BillsOwnAll's Avatar
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    Originally posted by billsfanone
    You wanted honesty. Take your time and re-write it.
    RE WRITE IT?!?!?!?!? are you nuts.

  11. #11
    Registered User LtBillsFan66's Avatar
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    Awkward sentence structure:

    It relives depression for you when you smoke the cigarette but when you get older and are in the hospital when your 60 it adds to the depression.

  12. #12
    Registered User LtBillsFan66's Avatar
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    Originally posted by BillsOwnAll
    RE WRITE IT?!?!?!?!? are you nuts.
    Then accept your d- with pride.

  13. #13
    Registered User LtBillsFan66's Avatar
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    That cause harm to many things.

  14. #14
    Registered User LtBillsFan66's Avatar
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    Smoking doesn’t just you it hurts the environment.

    I would give you an F!

  15. #15
    Registered User LtBillsFan66's Avatar
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    Its hurts your pets and the wild life around you.

  16. #16
    Lecter's Little Bitch
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    Hang on. I'll read it later. Let me print it out and I'll read it over a few smokes.

  17. #17
    Registered User LtBillsFan66's Avatar
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    Smoking causes 33% of all wild fires because of people throwing away there cigarettes.

    Do you take a little bus to school? If so, I'll give you a c-.

  18. #18
    Registered User The Spaz's Avatar
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    Take this wole thing and copy and paste it into Microsoft Word it will help!

  19. #19
    Registered User LtBillsFan66's Avatar
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    Many children whose parents smoke develop pneumonia and wheezing more often then children’s who parents don’t smoke.

    Dude, every sentence if f'ed up!

  20. #20
    Registered User LtBillsFan66's Avatar
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    Originally posted by The Spaz
    Take this wole thing and copy and paste it into Microsoft Word it will help!
    Drop out of school and take up a trade.

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