The 11 Liberal Guidelines
1. Thou shalt embrace and promote the killing of unborn children. For this is a woman's choice that shall not be hindered. Roe v. Wade is holy and shall never be overturned.
2. Thou shalt despise the rich and make laws to take what they have earned. For taxes shall be enacted to extract the wealth of the haves and redistribute it to the have-nots.
3. Thou shalt love and worship the U.N. and hate national sovereignty. For no war is just without U.N. approval, unless that war is conducted by a Democrat president, such as Kosovo or Bosnia.
4. Thou shalt teach that homosexuality is a viable alternative lifestyle. Any one among you that opposes this shall be branded a racist and a homophobe.
5. Thou shalt be tolerant of all religions except Christianity. For Christianity is oppressive and violent, unlike Islam, which is "a religion of peace." Thou shalt hate the Judeo-Christian values that the United States of America was founded upon and thou shalt destroy them.
6. Thou shalt dismantle and dispose of the Second Amendment. For the right to bear arms was never meant for the average law abiding citizen. Citizens must rely on the state for their protection, not themselves.
7. Thou shalt be against property rights. For property can only be owned and controlled by the state.
8. Thou shalt adhere to the law of affirmative action. For it is right that minorities (Blacks and Hispanics) be given preference over Whites (and Asians) only because of the color of their skin. See Michigan Law School.
9. Thou shalt never call evil by its name unless that evil is a Republican. Thou shalt call Saddam good and Bush evil.
10. Thou shalt appease, bribe, or succumb to the enemies of thy nation. For it is unlawful to fight terrorism, dictators or others who hate you. See France.
11. Thou shalt realize the stupidity of thy citizenry and sue large corporations for selling such destructive products as cheeseburgers and cigarettes. For the people do not know what is good for them and thus must be stopped from their bad behavior.