FINAL: ROUND 1: SabreEleven defeats Bling 23-7

[lordofgun]

ROUND 1: SabreEleven vs. Bling

Round 1 will be freestyle. Do whatever the heck you want. Just make sure it's funny and insulting. And please refer to the rules in the sticky thread if you have any questions.

Each contestant will take turns insulting each other. This round will consist of 6 turns each.

Bling will go first.
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[Bling]

Dear Assclown,

How does it feel to be such an assclown. I did the favor of those that don't know what an assclown to look up the word assclown.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=assclown&r=f

1. Assclown
One, who, through the fault of his parents conception, is a skid mark in society's collective underwear.
You, my good sir, are an assclown.

Comment submitted with request to Delete:
"My Name is assclown and that is offensive"

2. Assclown
1. A person who, while under the influence, makes a complete fool of himself while attempting humor. An assclown may wear an asshat.

2. A person who, while making a serious attempt as something, fails to realize what a complete fool he has made of himself.

3. An untalented schmuck.
1. That assclown thought he was being funny when he pretended to choke at the party, but everyone thought he was just being foolish.

2. The actor, while in character, made such an assclown of himself during the production that most of the audience started to talk during his monologues.

3. That assclown can't play the guitar at all.

A skid mark in society? I think that's a very good definition of someone like you.... You're just a skid mark. You're a friggin' waste. Do you wear an asshat too? I wouldn't be surprised you friggin' penishead. Go back to being an untalented schmuck, jackass.


....and another thing, who gave you the privilege to make up threads like this?

http://www.billszone.com/fanzone/showthread.php?t=65595

Above, Middle, Below Game - Stealing from another board. looks fun.
Pretty easy to play. I'll give you an example.

Player 1. ^ Nothing new.
> Feeling fantastic
v Who is your fave band?

Player 2. ^Aerosmith
>Raining out
v Do you have your own forum?
-
The ^ means you answer a question
The > means you post a comment,off the top of your head
The v is always a question.
Let's try it.
-----------------------------

^ No questions
> 12 hrs is a long time to work.
v What's your favorite place to visit?

(the following example was just one of MANY idiotic attempts at thread making)

What the hell? Are you that bored? Do you like to look like an idiot? That's just a waste of ones time. Next time you want to play a game, make it something interesting. Lord knows that you should be doing something better with your life, than "posting comments,off the top of your head". I'm here to kill time too, but time flies when you're having fun, not time flies when you're talking about horse****.

[SabreEleven]

Bling, Keep typing. Maybe, someday, you'll randomly type something semi-intelligent. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself on the Internet. Well, you're certainly thoughtless; I just wish that you were keyboard-less, too. As Abba Eban so aptly said: "His ignorance is encyclopedic."

I found a pic of the only person that finds you sexual attractive and he is going to need a cell might quite soon. He is taking applications as we speak.

http://www.funnypop.com/pictures/data/504/13micheals_break.jpg

[Bling]

Bling, Keep typing. Maybe, someday, you'll randomly type something semi-intelligent. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself on the Internet. Well, you're certainly thoughtless; I just wish that you were keyboard-less, too. As Abba Eban so aptly said: "His ignorance is encyclopedic."

semi-intelligent? Anyone semi-intelligent would know that you don't capitalize "keep" in "Bling, Keep typing." I'd expect more from a member of our armed forces....

I found a pic of the only person that finds you sexual attractive and he is going to need a cell might quite soon. He is taking applications as we speak.
http://www.funnypop.com/pictures/dat...eals_break.jpg

The only person that would bring that up as smack is someone that in fact has a boner for his picture. WTF? Do you enjoy talking about pedophiles?



Sorry I wasn't on to rebutal earlier, I had gay robbers last night.....I'm still rearranging the furniture.

[SabreEleven]

That's it? That is your reply. Talking about how your had a love fest yesterday and your boyfriends did a little decorating. Do you guys lock yourself in your room playing "Risk"? but your mom kepts interupting. Trying to bring you cookies, sandwiches, condoms....useful stuff like that?

Your sad little existence started when your mother had to douche with your father’s “favorite” sock that was standing up in the corner by itself to get pregnant cause your father was too busy at the local rest stop playing “Bathroom Stall Bathhouse” with George Michael.

Just one word of advice while you are stuck in the bathroom for 9 hours combing your hair, don’t mix up your socks with your fathers or you’ll be riding the same short bus with your son/brother and the family will be on the next plane to visit Jerry Springer.

[Bling]

That's it? That is your reply. Talking about how your had a love fest yesterday and your boyfriends did a little decorating. Do you guys lock yourself in your room playing "Risk"? but your mom kepts interupting. Trying to bring you cookies, sandwiches, condoms....useful stuff like that?

Jacko jokes? WTF is this? Did you just discover the internet? Look, Jacko is not someone to envy, you pedo. Just because he has more game with his playmates than you, doesn't mean you got to bring up that pedophile. I hear internet chatrooms could help you with your game....Unfortunately when you find out that BuffaloJayhawk is the guy on the other side of the chatroom, and have you shaking like a blind *** at a weenie roast, I would recommend ending going there.

Your sad little existence started when your mother had to douche with your father’s “favorite” sock that was standing up in the corner by itself to get pregnant cause your father was too busy at the local rest stop playing “Bathroom Stall Bathhouse” with George Michael.

Who's the skid mark in society's collective underpants?

Just one word of advice while you are stuck in the bathroom for 9 hours combing your hair, don’t mix up your socks with your fathers or you’ll be riding the same short bus with your son/brother and the family will be on the next plane to visit Jerry Springer.

Who friggin' combs their haird with a sock? Only you would


Assclown, don't you have a meeting with your boyfriend anyway? Shouldn't you 2 being holding hands and singing "We are the Champions", you flaming ****tard. We friggin' re-elected Bush, get back in the closet before the Gestapo comes....

[SabreEleven]

Who friggin' combs their haird with a sock? Only you would

This went over your little, wearing mommy's garter-belt, adolscent little head. Just remember, the rose goes in the front, big guy


So far those gaseous halitosis emissions coming from your piehole have been about as easy on the ears as a test of the Emergency Broadcast System. You’re going for the "smokescreen of superfluous detail" tactic, posting huge volumes of material that would make Dr Phil want to speed dial his own number. Squirrels running across a keyboard could produce more coherent posts. Your intelligence has about as much credibility as a "Hair Growth Tonic" marketed by Gandhi or a "Diet & Exercise" video featuring Karen Carpenter. Maybe the webbed feet and extended forehead with unibrow might have something to do with it

[Bling]

I once thought that being an assclown meant being such a friggin' jackass. You've broken all previous records recorded by BuffaloJayhawk. You're in new waters, you're by yourself. Not only are you the first eunuch to post on this site, but you're as the first flamming homo to envy Jacko. Shouldn't you be looking at Jacko's porn, lubing your dick to new extremes, praying one day that Jacko could be yours?


My God, they use to tell Richard Nixion to pull out earlier....your dad should have done the same.

[SabreEleven]

NAMBLA says that you love golden showers. So I made this for you.



I contact the fine organizations. I know you'll claim you won't know who NAMBA is so I got you this link. http://216.220.97.17/

I wrote an email to them telling them to leave you alone and this is what they wrote back.

Dear Mr. SaberEleven,

If you are in contact with one Mr. Bling, Please tell him to stop violating the restraining order we, NAMBLA, have against him. Mr. Bling turned into the biggest whore child we ever came across. We have some sick members in our misted, but Mr. Bling takes the cake. He SCARES us. Have you ever seen the adult video, Houston 500? It is where the porn actress, Houston, takes on 500 guys in a 12 hour period. We had our own video shoot called the NAMBLA-Bling 800. It was wildly successful. You can only imagine how many times Mr.Bling had his eyes spacked shut. It was beautiful. Things got out of control when Mr. Bling hit 800 and kept going. We had to kick him out. The police wound up coming and he was arrested. The weeks to follow he kept BEGGING to do the Bling 1200, but we were WORE out. That boy LOVES men. So please tell Mr. Bling to keep his distance or we'll be forced to sue.

Thank You,

Mike
Neverland, CA

[lordofgun]

NAMBLA says that you love golden showers. So I made this for you.



I contact the fine organizations. I know you'll claim you won't know who NAMBA is so I got you this link. http://216.220.97.17/

I wrote an email to them telling them to leave you alone and this is what they wrote back.

Dear Mr. SaberEleven,

If you are in contact with one Mr. Bling, Please tell him to stop violating the restraining order we, NAMBLA, have against him. Mr. Bling turned into the biggest whore child we ever came across. We have some sick members in our misted, but Mr. Bling takes the cake. He SCARES us. Have you ever seen the adult video, Houston 500? It is where the porn actress, Houston, takes on 500 guys in a 12 hour period. We had our own video shoot called the NAMBLA-Bling 800. It was wildly successful. You can only imagine how many times Mr.Bling had his eyes spacked shut. It was beautiful. Things got out of control when Mr. Bling hit 800 and kept going. We had to kick him out. The police wound up coming and he was arrested. The weeks to follow he kept BEGGING to do the Bling 1200, but we were WORE out. That boy LOVES men. So please tell Mr. Bling to keep his distance or we'll be forced to sue.

Thank You,

Mike
Neverland, CA

Over 12 hours since the last post. I'm calling this one.

Voting will be closed at midnight.

[mchurchfie]

Nothing like punting on second down Bling.

[SabreEleven]

It must have been the link to the NAMBLA site that got to him.

[Forward_Lateral]

The fact that you knew about the NAMBLA site frightened me, Bling got my vote, you sick freak.

[Dozerdog]

I bet on Assclown, so dammit, I voted for him!]

Kinda tough to smack assclown with all his former avatars.

[Bling]

I can't post during the morning, LoG.


Anyway, great job S11. I admire the fact that you had the balls to join, and not sit on the sidelines. No hard feelings meant. I don't know much about you (and pretty much everyone else in the comp.), so you advancing is probably better for the Tourney (assuming with your huge lead, you advance). I chuckled at the cookies and sandwiches with Jacko. That was funny.




For anyone planing on doing it next year, it's really hard. It's not something you really can plan for, you either have it or you don't. I joined thinking that because I always had great trolling ability, I'd do well. That isn't the case. It's something you got to watch this people do. It isn't that easy, and usually all you have for smack is gay, mom, short bus, and sex jokes. Good luck to all!