FINAL ROUND 1: regor defeats Forward_Lateral 35-32

[lordofgun]

ROUND 1: regor vs. Forward_Lateral

Round 1 will be freestyle. Do whatever the heck you want. Just make sure it's funny and insulting. And please refer to the rules in the sticky thread if you have any questions.

Each contestant will take turns insulting each other. This round will consist of 6 turns each.

Forward_Lateral will go first.
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[Forward_Lateral]

You'll have to excuse regor, he got in late last night from his cast of "Life Goes On" reunion party, on which he starred as "Corky".
Big night planned tonight for V-Day Regor? I bet. A night full of jerking off while looking at old copies of National Geographic and listineng to Merle Haggart records. This guy couldn't get laid in a whorehouse. I guess he jumped into the Gene Pool when the lifeguard wasn't looking. Dude doesn't have a family tree, he has a family stick. Say hi to your Uncle Dad for me.

Your turn, you limp dicked pillow biter.

[Novacane]

You musta worn your 2 brain cells out all weekend comming up with that "smack".
You are an imbecile Forward_Lateral. WTH would anyone chose a username of one of the most depressing plays in Bills history? You're even dumber than I gave you credit for. You must enjoy bad memories. Then again your entire life is one big bad memory. The most exciting thing in your childhood was your dog getting off on you leg. Sorry to hear old Rusty died. Don't fret it though. I'm sure the SPCA will be holding another Adopt a Sexual partner soon.

Your turn beastiality boy!

[Forward_Lateral]

I can't believe you actually strung more than 4 words together, I'm shocked. Usually all that sputters out of your toothless mouth is sentence fragments followed by "YoQuero an Amigo's Weiner". I'm suprised the Amigos actually let you join their "gang", I guess every gang needs someone to eat the bread after they all circle jerk into it. MMMMMM.. Yummy.
Dude, don't get yourself all worked up and out of breath, you're going to need it to blow up your date for tonight. Too bad you had to drill a hole in your tickle Me Elmo doll and ruin it eh. Don't worry, I'm sure Salvation Army will have another sale one of these days.

[Novacane]

Dude....how do you expect to get votes when you refer to *** saturated bread as "MMMMMM.. Yummy." We don't wanna know what you had for lunch. Do everyone a favor...........next time honey starts one of her "whats for dinner" threads please don't respond.

[Forward_Lateral]

It took you over 2 hours to come up with that? That's all you got? Dude, that's seriously lame...almost as lame as your crippled wife. How is old Martha doing, anyways? Last time I saw her, she was rolling her wheel chair down the street, while dragging a couple of pop cans on a string behind her. When I asked her what she was doing, she replied "Moving".

Seriously Regor, your smack is about as fresh as your 3 year old's diapers. When are you going to toilet train that brat, anyways? I guess it's hard to tell your kid to quit ****ting himself when you still have plastic over your own bed sheets.
I love how a guy with "regor" as his user name actually had the balls to attack someone else's name. Dude, how long did it take you to figure out how to spell your name backwards? I bet you do real well at the trailer park scrabble tournaments every friday night.
Dude, you better go back in front of the mirror and practice your smack talk while tearing off your Hulkamania T-shirts, because you just aren't cutting it right now. You're going down faster than Madonna on Prom Night.

[Novacane]

Calm down ****wad_losttesticle. Don't assume everyone is on welfare just because you are. I'm sure that you. Since you come from 5 generations of bloodsucking welfare skanks you think everyone lives that way.
Some of us have to work and pay taxes so your government funded ass can sit at his computer all day hitting refresh every 30 seconds to see if it's your turn. I'm suprised the F5 button even works on your keyboard anymore. I can picture you now. One window open to our battle thread, another open to the main forum to steal thread ideas for your "bills site" and another opened to dogpoorecipes.com.
Speaking of your website, how many names has that thing had anyway? asylum, additcion, what are you gonna use when you lose another name for not paying the bill? Aholics? Just give it up Aside from your shadow Canadian_eh no one cares. Your wasting your time and your taxpaying neighbors money.

I'll turn it back to you, you impatient ****.

[Forward_Lateral]

Anyone have a ******edredneck/english dictionary I can borrow, because I didn't understand a word that regor just said. How did a guy with an IQ lower than the amount of teeth in his wife's mouth pro-create?

The eletric just went off and my 3 yr old son comes running
out of the laundry room screaming. Somehow he got the circut box open
and stuck a screwdriver in it.

i don't know what's more surprising about this.... the fact that your offspring has enough intelligence to open a door and hold a screwdriver, or that you actually have electricy in that 47 year old abandoned trailer you call a house.

What's even more amazing is that you managed to have TWO kids. What, did you think that the second one couldn't possibly be any more ******ed than the first? Jesus, I guess you shot that theory down.

I'll let you get back to wining and dining that tractor trailer you call a wife. ***** looks like 50 pounds of peanuts in a 25 pound bag. I saw her naked the other day through my teliscope, she looks like 300 pounds of chewed bubble gum.

P.S. I'm sure all of your computer geek friends are laughing hysterically over your F5 joke. You're so cool, I heard you started teaching remedial classes at Cucumber College.

[Novacane]

http://www.billszone.com/fanzone/showthread.php?t=63136

You finally grow a pubic hair and you think that makes you a man

I forget what happened between that time and halftime, I blacked out, woke up with a rope around my neck and my mouth on the tail pipe of my truck. I guess I should've turned the truck on..

What kind of moron posts his sexual fantisies on a message board? And yeah..........you should have turned the truck on.

The best moment of the day came when I was going to store and my Dad called my cell phone to tell me that the Bills had just returned an INT for a TD and they were WINNING 17-16. I felt a bit better, but I still had a bad feeling in my stomach.
.

Can't even make a trip to the store without daddy talking you through it? Maybe if you stop eating your daddies special creamfilled donuts you wont get that bad feeling in your stomach anymore.

I went to take a dump.
.

Congratulations on being paper trained.

I come back and sit down and see that the score is still the same. Whaaaa? I rubbed my eyes. Shook my head. Felt my nuts to make sure they were still there..

Well were they? Nevermind. Canadian_eh can tell us

I screamed, yelled, smashed a chair, kicked my dog, spilled my beer .

translation............you squealed like a knocked over your out house, kicked your mother and drank a glass of your dads piss

I felt like I was just dumped by my girlfriend. .

You know what it feels like to have your mom dump you?

. I felt like I was just kicked in the nuts by my best friend. .

Canadian_eh would never do that. He'd have nothing to suck on

Then, like every other self-respecting, macho football loving man, I ran to my room, shut the door and locked it, made sure nobody was around, and cried.

Make sure nobody is around to see it and then you post it on a public message board? You are one dumb ****tard.

[Forward_Lateral]

Hey, don't be jealous just because piss came out of your first pubic hair.
I'm so glad that after 2 hours of waiting, you finally came up with another response. It's great how you learned to quote and respond, who helped you with that, Stampy? I'm suprised you didn't throw a few ***ing ***s in there to go a long with it.
Don't hand me that, "Some of us gotta work" Bull either. Since when does standing 8 hours in line to collect food stamps qualify as a job?
I also noticed in your profile that you are "self-employed". I'm pretty sure Child Molesting isn't considered a legitimate profession. Might want to check with the Better Business Bureau on that one though, I'm not sure.
I knew you couldn't go through this whole thing without using a mother joke. I forgot you had the IQ of Shogun. Actually, I think he might actually be more coherent than your dumb ass. At least his IQ test didn't comeback negative like yours did.
As for the gay jokes, let's leave other members of this message board out of this, I haven't broughten your gay love affair with Darth Takeo into this, or the time that My Bills strapped a dildo on and sodomized you in front of your numnut kids. Gay jokes are funny, but not coming from you. You delivering a gay joke is like Rosie O'Donnel delivering a fat joke, it just doesn't work. It's like the pot calling the kettle black...sorry you wouldn't know what a kettle is, you don't have running water at the trailer park, I forgot.

So why don't you get back on your Schwinn Mountain Racer, pedal your slack-jawed ass back to the library and re-type an insult that is actually half-way funny.

Don't forget to pick Shamu (your wife) up something nice for V-Day, I'm sure she'd appreciate some more maxi pads, since you used them all up last night while watching reruns of "Silver Spoons" and thinking of Ricky Schroeder.

Back to you, Dirk Diddler.

[Novacane]

OK........I'm back. I know you have been hyper-ventilating waiting for your turn. Let me guess...........you wore a path between the computer and your mommy's bedroom waiting for your chance to post more drivel. At least she helped you pass the time. Sorry I can't respond in 8 minutes, 30 minutes, and 24 minutes like you have after my posts. I have this little thing called re-spon-si-bil-i-ties. I know that word is foreign to you so look it up dumb ass www.dictionary.com I also have a thing called a LIFE. Something you dream of.

Interesting "insults" you have It is to see Billszone articles are not the only thing you plagerize. How did you do to get your jokes? Run a google search for stupid jokes .


I did get a chance to read your profile. WTH does "Mufflerman by day, Superhero by night" mean I'm guessing after a day on the streets sucking "muffler pipes" you have mommy help you play dress up. You get into your pretty red lace panties while your mommy pins a towel around your neck and draws a big red S on your chest with her slutty lipstick. Of course you use the dirty towel mommy wiped her ****ter with so you can be STINKY MAN! Then I hear you run down your street singing "Stinky man is on the way, here I come to smell up your day"

I also see your from the wannabe 51rst state. All I can say about that crap hole is:



Oh Canada!
Forwards home that f-ed up land!
True welfare state, forwards in line holding out his hand.

Full of looooooosers, phy-y-cos and queers,
Thats why Forward lives there!

Spread you asscheeks wide.
Oh forward, while your daddy jumps on for a ride.

Canada is worse, than a genital itch!
And she'll always be the USA's *****.

Canada will always be the USA's *****

[Forward_Lateral]

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you your moron. I didn’t know they made camouflaged capes? What are you, the red-necked jedi? Running around trying your Jedi mind tricks on Cleatus and Uncle Jed? Did your parents have any human kids?
Do you have any insults that haven’t been used already? www.dictionary .com? Seriously dude, Devin just used that one. And YOU accuse ME of plagiarism (that’s how grown ups spell words, just because it sounds like a ‘Z’ you don’t spell it like that, you uneducated hick). LOL. Putz.

I understand it doesn’t help things that your parents are siblings, I would be a bit perturbed (see www.dictionary.com if you need some hand holding) as well if I were a border-line ****** whose extra-curricular activities include long walks on the beach and humping livestock. And before you reference livestock as a female (or in your case male) family member of mine, don't it's a lame comeback and no one will laugh.

Responsibilities eh? How long did it take you to spell that? It has more than 2 syllables! I’m impressed. Now, if you string a few of those words together, with some the’s and it’s in there, you make an entire sentence. As for your responsibilities, nobody here wants to know about your Jiz-Mopping job at the Gay bar. So we’ll skip over that part.
Do you ever wonder what life would be like if you’d have had oxygen at birth? I guess that’s what happens when your born in a building a “Red Light District” sign above it.
Tell me, did you parents ever TELL you to run away when you were a kid? Or did they try to sell you to the circus? You could’ve been known as “Regor, the only person on earth who can ***** a cherrio without breaking it”.
Oh, what was that…I think I heard your wife calling you again. I think she’s saying “Regor move this transmission so I can take a bath!”.
You are about as useful as a screen door on an outhouse.
Speaking of outhouses, how is your first son’s conception and birthplace doing? You didn’t burn it down yet, did you?
In closing, I’d like to say, this is supposed to be a one on one smack off, you insult Canada? Dude, just because you are a racist bigot, who has 12 immobile cars in his front yard and one home that is mobile, you don’t have to drag an entire Country into this. Although, I must say, it doesn’t really surprise me, at least you didn’t call me gay for the 18th time, or say my website sucks for the 100th time. Seriously, do you have any smack or insults that aren’t written by your 3 year old Komodo dragon looking kids, or are you going to call me “Stinky Man” some more? What’s next, are you going to call me a stupid head, or a dummy face? Jesus Christ Regor, if anyone seriously votes for you, they are either A.)One of your ******ed monkey kids B.) Darth Takeo or Stampy C.) Some Amigos that you bribed with oral sex.
After all of your insults and attacking, you’ve managed to use lame ass momma jokes, call me gay, say that I love Canadian Eh, and say my site sucks. Wow. Great Job Regor, hats off to you pal, you are one mean SOB.
So, before you call me gay for the 10000th time, or call me Captain Stinky or whatever you said, maybe you should come up with something original for your last post.
I'm not going to stoop to insulting your country, either. I'm sure the other citizens of Bangladesh wouldn't appreciate it.
Face it Regor, you are out like a fat kid running to first.

[Novacane]

Sorry Superhero by night.

If you don't like me using mommy jokes try doing something most 25 year olds have done years ago................... MOVE OUT!


If you don't like me using gay jokes than stop following Canadian_eh around quoting all his posts and posting "I agree". You're worse than Phil with helmut_guy. You two are like Siamese twins.


If you don't like jokes about your site than try comming up with some of your own ideas. I stop by there every once in a while and it's like the movie groundhog day.


If you don't like jokes about your country.............to bad! Other than NBF and BG, every canadian that has posted on this board is a moron. Post something intelligent occasionally and maybe people would show a little respect for that frozen wasteland.

You are one whiney *****. Whining about my jokes and all you can come up with is your wife is fat, your kids are dumb and your best jokes were redneck trailer trash jokes. Nice idea. To bad thats another thing you could not think of on your own. (see Log v Mybills thread)

In closing all I can say is I hope you ****ing die. If there is a hell it was created for you.......not Satan. You are a waste. Brain dead paraplegics contribute more to humanity than you. Do the world and yourself a favor. Kill yourself.

[lordofgun]

Good match, guys! Polls close at 10:30PM ET.

[DraftBoy]

Regor poem or song sealed the deal,