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  • dannyek71

    18 69.23%
  • Shiny Chicken

    8 30.77%
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Thread: FINAL: ROUND 1: dannyek71 defeats Shiny Chicken 18-8

  1. #1
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    FINAL: ROUND 1: dannyek71 defeats Shiny Chicken 18-8

    ROUND 1: Shiny Chicken vs. dannyek71

    Round 1 will be freestyle. Do whatever the heck you want. Just make sure it's funny and insulting. And please refer to the rules in the sticky thread if you have any questions.

    Each contestant will take turns insulting each other. This round will consist of 6 turns each.

    dannyek71 will go first.






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  2. #2
    Drink Responsibly dannyek71's Avatar
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    First of all, I'd like to thank my opponent Shiny chicken for taking time out his busy schedule of watching Queer Eye for the Straight guy, and the all day marathon of Ellen that is showing on the Oxygen network (God bless Tivo right chicken?)

    Second of all, I give you credit for knowing who Martin Prince is. There are not many shemales with Downes Syndrome that I know who watch the Simpons. So I must give credit to where it is due.
    [

  3. #3
    Shinier than your mom Shiny Chicken's Avatar
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    OUCH! I'm just reeling from those zingers!! Yeah... Shemale, huh? Well at least I've got one. Women just aren't buying the "industrial accident" line... oh wait... I forgot, no women have ever seen you naked... except those little girls and boys at the park. Oh... right... I forgot, you said you were beyond that point of your life.

    And a question... how do you know so many shemales with down syndrome? You obviously had something to compare me to, based on what you siad. Interesting company you keep. Did they replace your other "problem"?

    Truth is, you're a bit of a challenge to insult. I was sifting through your posts yesterday and I was awestruck by the lack of personality in everything you say! Are you really that drab and boring? Even my mom turned you down... and that's saying something. Your little friend Martin, who you dream about every night, that boring little Simpsons nerd, has more personality in the tip of his wang than you have at all. A cartoon character is more interesting than you are. Damn, that really blows. I feel so cruel having to bring you down now. It's not even fair, you know?


  4. #4
    Drink Responsibly dannyek71's Avatar
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    Wow i really dont know what to say, I feel like I have to start this entire insult thing over again. Nothing you said even deserves a comeback, and most of the time your rambling incoherence made no sense..

    Quote Originally Posted by Shiny Chicken
    Even my mom turned you down... and that's saying something.
    First of all, what are we 5? Breaking out the mom jokes already, I thought you'd at least have SOME originality. Terrible that you had to start brining out mom jokes this early. What are you going to say next, that you served me? Second of all, and correct me if I'm wrong, but wasnt this supposed to be an insult the opponent contest, not insult yourself contest? You make this too easy for me.

    Quote Originally Posted by Shiny Chicken
    Enterprise got better in its fourth season... the two Stargate series are much better sci fi television, though.
    Ouch....Sounds like you have a great personality. Bet you get tons of girls with knowing how many clingons inhabit the planet Gubox.

    Remember this: No personality is better than a bad one. Also, to make fun of someones avatar that comes from the Simpsons is really searching for an insult.


    Once you get the rules and idea of this whole thing down, feel free to ask that guy with 5 teeth sitting next to you at the public library for a real insult.

  5. #5
    Shinier than your mom Shiny Chicken's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by dannyek71
    most of the time your rambling incoherence made no sense..
    I'm sorry, I'll try to make things nice and simple for you so you can figure them out. We wouldn't want danny boy getting confused, now, would we?

    First of all, what are we 5? Breaking out the mom jokes already, I thought you'd at least have SOME originality. Terrible that you had to start brining out mom jokes this early. What are you going to say next, that you served me? Second of all, and correct me if I'm wrong, but wasnt this supposed to be an insult the opponent contest, not insult yourself contest? You make this too easy for me.
    A little self-deprecation never hurt in slamming down your opponent even further. A little mom joke here and there never gets old. Besides, at least my mom can get laid. It's no wonder you're scared of mom jokes. Your dad had to be drugged in order for you to even exist. You ever notice when people meet your mom after they've met you, they say "No wonder..."?

    Bet you get tons of girls with knowing how many clingons inhabit the planet Gubox.
    It must be even worse when you look and smell like one. What a hard life you must lead.

    Remember this: No personality is better than a bad one. Also, to make fun of someones avatar that comes from the Simpsons is really searching for an insult.
    I didn't have to search. It was right out there in plain sight. You represent yourself with one of the nerdiest characters in fiction. How could I not use that? You make it all too easy

    Once you get the rules and idea of this whole thing down, feel free to ask that guy with 5 teeth sitting next to you at the public library for a real insult.
    You wish you could go to the library. Must suck to have to beg for computer time in prison, just so you can see "Bertha" on her (are you sure it's a her... do you even care?) webcam. The fact that I'm sitting in a nice warm apartment without "Rex" breathing down my neck must really irk you.

  6. #6
    Drink Responsibly dannyek71's Avatar
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    Wow...I really dont even know what to say. You think that picking on my parents, my avatar, and the fact that I am supposedly a felone are supposed to belittle me? Yes we all know that I have martin from the simpons in my avatar...Everyone can see that, we may now finally move to something else...

    I really hope you are 12 years old, because then your argument would fit your age.


    To be totally honest with you, I had a whole list of insults made up, but I am not even going to waste them on you.


    Quote Originally Posted by Shiny Chicken
    I'm sorry, I'll try to make things nice and simple for you so you can figure them out. We wouldn't want danny boy getting confused, now, would we?
    Is that the best you can come up with? Sounds to me like YOU are the one who is confused.


    What I'd recommend is this....go up to the first decent looking girl (under 300ilbs) and say this....

    Hey baby, you want to come and watch me in my drama show this friday night, Ill be dancing in my yellow tights to the music of Barishnokoff to the song entitled "A fairy princess blooming on a spring day." Then after you can come back to my apartment and I will serenade you with the Clignon love song sang by Twgangia in eposide 87 of "Star Trek Deep Anus 54" followed by a rambuncious evening of staying up until 11 and drinking NONDECAFFINATED coffee?

    And the first line in your "response" I want you to answer these two questions.

    Are you a major Star Trek fan?
    Are you a drama nerd who dances in front of large numbers of people in tights?


    I seriously cannot think of anything that would make anyone a bigger looser than those two attributes mentioned above. So when you make obviously fraudulent arguments that I am "in prision" or say things about my mother, try arguing the truth and not some fairy tail that you are conjuring up in between free period, getting thrown in the trash can by the chess club, and being turned down for a date this friday night by that girl who has more facial hair than Dan Fouts...


    Kid, you are more useless than pee-wee hurman trying to keep a fat chick at Old Country buffet away from the last piece of chocolate cake.....

  7. #7
    Shinier than your mom Shiny Chicken's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by dannyek71
    Is that the best you can come up with? Sounds to me like YOU are the one who is confused.
    We've been talking about this Danny boy, you're the one that's obviously confused... the little children, the shemales... we've been over this already.

    What I'd recommend is this....go up to the first decent looking girl (under 300ilbs)
    Danny boy, I'm sorry, but anything further just doesn't have any meaning... since you've never walked up to a girl to talk to her before, you have no point of reference.

    drinking NONDECAFFINATED coffee?
    uhhh... wouldn't that be caffinated coffee... I fail to see your point. Do you have any idea what you're talking about? Does your mommy let you drink coffee? Or not, since you wet the bed every time you do.

    And the first line in your "response" I want you to answer these two questions.

    Are you a major Star Trek fan?
    Are you a drama nerd who dances in front of large numbers of people in tights?
    How about you answer me this question... are you a major computer nerd? Have you even admitted to being so in LOG's thread calling out help from "Computer nerds"?

    I seriously cannot think of anything that would make anyone a bigger looser than those two attributes mentioned above. So when you make obviously fraudulent arguments that I am "in prision" or say things about my mother, try arguing the truth and not some fairy tail that you are conjuring up in between free period, getting thrown in the trash can by the chess club, and being turned down for a date this friday night by that girl who has more facial hair than Dan Fouts...
    Do we really have to go over this again? If you had any personality to make fun of, this would be much more interesting. Unfortuntaely, your personality's dryer than your mom's.... oh, never mind... we won't go there. The only things I have to define you are the fact that you're a computer geek and you're in love with Martin Prince. That's just very sad!

    Kid, you are more useless than pee-wee hurman trying to keep a fat chick at Old Country buffet away from the last piece of chocolate cake.....
    That's one of the most ******ed things I have ever read

    Anyway, since you were having so much trouble with understanding the whole theatre thing... which was obvious after reading your lame insult, let me introduce you to a little something called "culture." You may be unfamiliar with it... which is understandable... after all, you were breastfed until the age of 12... and mommy still has trouble letting you out of her sight.

    Obviously you've never seen any theatre. In theatre, there is no dancing around in tights. That would be called dance, or sometimes musical theatre, neither of which I have anything to do with. And no, puppet shows don't count either. Once you learn how to read, pick up some stuff by this guy Shakespeare, not that you'll understand a word of it, or Arthur Miller maybe. That's the honorable profession in which I am involved. You could only be so lucky as to have half the talent I possess in my little finger

    And my occasional viewing of Star Trek isn't nearly as bad as your odd Pee Wee Herman or Martin obesessions. At least I have a life outside of the TV and computer screens. Hard for you to say as much, with your face in a perpetual glow from the radiation of both permeating your skull.

  8. #8
    Drink Responsibly dannyek71's Avatar
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    As I can see you are incapable of getting any new material I will answer your question. Yes I know a good amount about computers. So if you want to call me a nerd that is fine, there are obviously worse things in life. However, this knowledge of computers has attained me a very good job, making more money that your apartment dwelling bottom does. So while you are working your minimum wage job at the gas station, or walmart, think about how nice it would be to be a “nerd.”

    So I answered your question, so you answer my with a yes/no response following the :


    1)Are you a major Star Trek fan?:
    (your above reference to Star Trek proves it)

    2)Are you a virgin?:
    (Before you even make any references to me regarding this, yes I have had sex, the girls were under 130ibs and they were not related to me, I did not pay them, and they were about the same age as I was. And no it wasn’t your mom either)

    3)Are you involved in the drama club?:
    And remember just yes/no responses. Do us all a favor, stop using generic mommy breastfed me until I was 12 comebacks, and come up with something original.

    As I've said before, I have facts to back up the point that you are a waste of sperm and egg, while you make remarks about me touching little children and such that have no basis to them. And if you have trouble finding any content to make fun of me for, that is only a testament to the fact that I post here less per day, and when I do, it is usually strictly for Bills related topics. Using your enfeebled brain, realized that this means I have less time to post here, or choose not to. However, strangely enough, you make me out to be someone who has nothing but time, and has nothing else to do.



    Four pieces of advice.

    Grow up.
    Get laid
    Quit drama
    Stop watching “Trek”

  9. #9
    Shinier than your mom Shiny Chicken's Avatar
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    *Sigh* You're really getting boring now.
    Quote Originally Posted by dannyek71
    Yes I know a good amount about computers. So if you want to call me a nerd that is fine, there are obviously worse things in life.
    So you're calling yourself a nerd... I don't even have to do any work to beat you. You know, I would like to actually be getting some practice for the next round. Could you try to step it up just a notch?

    think about how nice it would be to be a “nerd.”
    Oh yeah... real nice... sitting in front of a computer screen all day... making lots of money to spend on.... more computers. No thanks. I'd rather interact with people. I thought computer programming was cool.... when I was 15... kinda grew out of that one. Didn't take long to realize girls were more fun than computers. You should try getting into the outside world sometime. Maybe then you won't have skin that's the color of your own semen. You know, that stuff that splatters all over your keyboard whenever you finally figure out that glitch in your new program.

    So I answered your question, so you answer my with a yes/no response following the :

    1)Are you a major Star Trek fan?:
    (your above reference to Star Trek proves it)


    Oh fine, if you insist, I'll answer. By the way, having some trouble with those fancy computer skills of yours?

    *Sigh* No, I am not a major Star Trek fan. Do I enjoy the show occasionally? Sure, when I have time to watch TV. Do I like well written sci fi? Sure. Well written drama is fun to watch, even sci fi. Do I dress up and go to conventions and all that craziness? No. Sorry. Do you feel better now that I've given you a difinitive answer? You've been dwelling on this point for awhile now, can you move on to something a little more clever? Lots of people watch sci fi. I'm afraid that doesn't give you your proof of me being a "looser" (It's loser, by the way) I'd rather be accused of watching a little sci fi then be a pasty ass computer geek any day.

    2)Are you a virgin?:
    (Before you even make any references to me regarding this, yes I have had sex, the girls were under 130ibs and they were not related to me, I did not pay them, and they were about the same age as I was. And no it wasn’t your mom either)
    First of all... LOL... second of all... no, I'm very far from being one... thirdly... the best you can do is "under 130 lbs."???? I hope, for your sake, she was tall. By the way, my mom says differently... so does yours.... ewww. Alright, so maybe she was under 130 lbs. I'm saying she, cause I'm quite sure there could only been one woman blind and stupid enough to sleep with you... other than the aforementioned older women. That's a good start, staying away from the heffers. Too bad your breasts are bigger than hers. She was so bucktoothed, she couldn't go down on you without making you bleed. And that face... daaaaaaaammmmmmn. You know why it was so quiet in your little shack in the woods? She frightened all the wildlife away. Oh, and 5 seconds barely counts as losing your virginity. But congrats on actually getting it in!!! Did she actually feel it?

    3)Are you involved in the drama club?:
    And remember just yes/no responses. Do us all a favor, stop using generic mommy breastfed me until I was 12 comebacks, and come up with something original.
    No, I'm not in the drama club. I'm not some amateur shmuck that puts on horrible theatre. I'm a theatre major... meaning, I study the art of theatre. You couldn't handle it. Working on a real show actually involves being around people for up to 18 hours a day... and it requires something called "talent," nothing you've ever had anything to do with

    the fact that I post here less per day
    Actually, look again, believe it or not, your posts per day are a little higher than mine.
    However, strangely enough, you make me out to be someone who has nothing but time, and has nothing else to do.
    I didn't say you spent all your time here. See, most of the time I do spend on the computer, I go here, the rest of the time, I'm doing other, more productive, more social activities. You, on the other hand, seem to be in front of a screen all day.


    Four pieces of advice for you:

    1. Get away from your computer. Go do something that's actually fun.
    2. Use a tissue. I can't imagine semen all over your keyboard being very good for it. Start planning ahead.
    3. Stay away from the shemales and little kids.
    4. Go do some research on how to fix Premature Ejaculation. You already have a big enough (or small enough) problem as it is.

  10. #10
    Drink Responsibly dannyek71's Avatar
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    Ill do you a favor and help you out, you don’t need to post here on this thread anymore, all you are going to keep saying is



    1) You are a nerd
    2) Your avatar is stupid
    3) You’re a shemale

    You don’t need to lie, we all know you are a virgin. Your supposed “friends” even make fun of you about it. When you have friends like that, you don’t need enemies.



    Not me, not now..What smart girls say to you about sex with you.



    I’m sorry I insulted you by calling you a Star Trek fan. That V sign you make with your fingers is actually you displaying the V for virgin sign.



    Think of it this way, being a virgin isn’t a bad thing, your penis is in “mint condition.” I don’t know about you, but when I don’t use something for a long time, I throw it away or donate it to charity, you should check to see if the salvation army will accept three inch hotdogs.



    You are such a virgin you make Jeff Garcia and Mike Pizza look like real pimp daddies.



    Quote Originally Posted by Shiny Chicken
    Quote Originally Posted by Shiny Chicken

    No, I'm not in the drama club. I'm not some amateur shmuck that puts on horrible theatre. I'm a theatre major... meaning, I study the art of theatre. You couldn't handle it. Working on a real show actually involves being around people for up to 18 hours a day... and it requires something called "talent," nothing you've ever had anything to do with




    Oh, I see the difference now between drama and theatre, boy was I off. Now after you graduate, you will be blessed with the ability to welcome people to Walmart with great flare. You can either do that or obtain one of the other large paying jobs, awaiting theatre majors upon graduation.



    Thanks for the easy victory and enjoy your life as a Klismaphiliac.

  11. #11
    Shinier than your mom Shiny Chicken's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by dannyek71
    3) You’re a shemale


    Nono... was just pointing out your fascination with them Just goes with the whole confused thing.

    Oh, by the way, love the cut and paste from word. Having trouble getting your spelling right on your own? How did you graduate high school, much less college. That's right, you just know about computers. Computer geeks don't have to communicate with the outside world. Proper communication skills aren't neccesary.

    You're just a sorry excuse for a human being. I've seen dog crap more interesting and far better looking. Interesting that you're so obsessed with my sex life. Trying to live vicariously through others? Go get yourself some pussy. It's not that hard. put down the Jolt and the cold pizza, get away from your sticky keyboard and go to a bar. Have half a beer... that should get you wasted. At that point, the few girls you can get will look like goddesses. Try to stay under 400 lbs. If you can... I'm not expecting anything under 250, but do your best.

    Once you get her back to your place, try to find the right place to put it! You don't want to be exploring some slimy roll of fat. Just remember your "experience" with your mom, and you'll do fine.

    Again, you're so boring, I got no more material left on you. My range of insults is a testament to your wildly colorful personality.

  12. #12
    Drink Responsibly dannyek71's Avatar
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    First of all, I give you many more compliments on your mom jokes, making fun of ones mother is a very original thing to do. At least this time you tried to make fun of mine and not your own.



    hmmm

    I stumbled upon this thread...

    http://www.billszone.com/fanzone/showthread.php?t=52318


    Seems strange that you constantly bash everyone for having computer knowledge, yet you seem pretty knowledgeable about them yourselves. And even beg for help from “nerds.” Seems rather odd to me.


    Secondly, you state that I have way too much time on my hands and that I need to get a life like you have. Well, lets let this thread speak for itself mr. social

    http://www.billszone.com/fanzone/showthread.php?t=46830



    I find something hard to believe. According to yourself, you are quite the lady pleaser. And you of course have all of the attributes any woman is looking for, so enough said there. But what I find hard to believe is that someone with your abilities was able to post on valentines day night at around 10pm. Shouldn’t you have been out with a lady? Oh wait, I know the excuse this time. She was sick. She had leprosy. Her osteoporosis was acting up again. Yes yes, we all know the story.


    Congratulations on getting into SUNY Albany, my I hear it is very affordable. Going to a high regarded school such as SUNY Albany gets you much accolade. Going to a prestigious school such as SUNY Albany proves one of three things

    1)Your family is very poor, and cannot afford a school that costs more that 10k/year

    2)Your parents don’t even care enough about you to give you the money to pay for a decent school’s tuition.

    3)You are not smart enough to get into a decent college.

    So which is it? A dirt bag, ******, or unwanted even by your parents?



    My mistake is this, I shouldn’t be getting mad at you, I should be envying you. See you have the system beat. You come from a poor, white trash family and attend a poor, white trash college. You pick something easy and useless to major in, theatre, then complain how hard it is, and how much talent it takes to be a thespian. If there is anything this world needs is more theatre majors. That and doctors. I mean look around, there are theaters popping up everywhere, just look next to your neighborhood Wal-Mart or star bucks and you will see a theater adjacent to them. Being a theatre major entails numerous hardships, which include playing dress up, and dancing in front of people in spandex allowing them to see your nutshells through your pants. My, they are really getting you ready for the tough world after college.



    After graduating, you will try to get a job in theatre for about 6 months, all the while complaining how “there are absolutely no jobs out there” or “this area for jobs sucks” all the while you sit in your trailer or apartment wondering why you haven’t had any 80/k /year theatre jobs come knocking on your door. Soon enough after this you will go on welfare while you turn down the only jobs you are even closely capable of doing, McDonalds and Wal-Mart. You will marry a poor, white trash girl and produce poor white trash babies all the while leeching off of the rest of society.

    While the moronic rest of us go out working our butts off to support ourselves, as well as you in order to maintain order

    I never complimented you on such a great name. Did you get it after you pulled out of Tom Brady’s butt and realized that Vaseline was shiny?

    Make up what you want about me sitting in front of my computer monitor for 23 hours a day, molesting children, and having a vagina or whatever you want. You cannot run from the truth which is your sorry life.



    Oh and by the way, since you hate my avatar so much, enjoy my new signature. I just thought Id try to help you out. Thanks for the easy victory klinefelter.
    Attached Images Attached Images

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    Over 15 hours since the last post. I'm calling this one.

    Voting will be closed at midnight.

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    Quote Originally Posted by dannyek71
    =Ouch....Sounds like you have a great personality. Bet you get tons of girls with knowing how many clingons inhabit the planet Gubox.
    I would have come back with this- "If I were you, the only Klingons I'd be worried about are the ones inhabiting Uranus"

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    Quote Originally Posted by Dozerdog
    I would have come back with this- "If I were you, the only Klingons I'd be worried about are the ones inhabiting Uranus"


    Now that's funny!

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    Drink Responsibly dannyek71's Avatar
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    damn board got closed, down....too bad chicken couldn't at least make a comeback to that last one......I saw him on the boards all last night.....

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    Quote Originally Posted by lordofgun
    Over 15 hours since the last post. I'm calling this one.

    Voting will be closed at midnight.
    I thought they had 24 hours to reply? You should have wait at least until dinner time this evening.
    When I die, please don't let my wife sell my camera equipment for what I told her I paid for it.



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    Quote Originally Posted by northernbillfan
    I thought they had 24 hours to reply? You should have wait at least until dinner time this evening.
    I agree. I wanted to see how Shiny would respond.

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    From the "Official" rules:
    Quote Originally Posted by lordofgun
    7. There is no "official" time limit (unless otherwise stated in that round's rules), but I will make the call when I think time's up. If it's been a day since you posted anything, I may end the battle at that point (or earlier or later at my sole discretion). Please try to check in frequently to see if it's your turn to insult.

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    Registered User honey's Avatar
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    Read the next part of that sentence, nbf.


    Originally Posted by lordofgun
    7. There is no "official" time limit (unless otherwise stated in that round's rules), but I will make the call when I think time's up. If it's been a day since you posted anything, I may end the battle at that point (or earlier or later at my sole discretion). Please try to check in frequently to see if it's your turn to insult.

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