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Thread: Hey Sabre 11- Rejected Limericks

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    Hey Sabre 11- Rejected Limericks

    Here are some limericks I wrote but didn't use in the competition. I think they're funny enough to be worth posting.

    Sabre11 met a girl at the bar
    he convinced her to go to his car
    he removed his pants
    she took a glance
    and exclaimed "My, how bizarre!"

    This one I used but I changed the last line:

    Sabre11 purchased a candy bar
    and lured an 8 year-old into his car
    He removed his pants
    she took a glance
    and said "thanks for the emotional scar"

    Sabre paid a girl for some fun
    He got her to look at his gun
    he said "don't be shocked
    by the sores on my ****-
    a little herpes never hurt anyone"

  2. #2
    in charge of you
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    I had some good ones against Pat last time:

    Met Patrick about 12 PM
    He tried to poke me with his stem.
    He was so ugly
    I started to flee
    God molded his face from BMs.

    Since Patrick couldn't land Jaded
    He said it was his life he hated.
    His wife was not tasty
    She was white and pasty
    He frequently masterbated.

    Seventeen days in a row
    Patrick sucked my big toe.
    He begged for mercy
    I nicknamed him Percy
    And turned him into a male ho.

    Patrick thinks he's Mr. Witty
    But his rhymes ask for nothing but pity.
    My foot in his mouth
    I'll send it down south
    And then I will rip off his titty.

    I kicked your a** in a big way
    I'll do it again, no delay.
    I'm glad this is finished
    Your skills have diminished
    Congratulations, you wasted my day.

    To those with no sense of humor
    You have brains that resemble Pat's tumor.
    Full of puss and curled hair
    It's located down there
    And requires a full-time groomer.

    Sorry to torture you folks
    With more of Patrick's lame jokes.
    He had one more chance
    To get to the dance
    For the second straight time, he chokes.






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  3. #3
    Acid Douching Asswipe
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    I like those cuz they were original- like chern said in another thread, we mostly just traded gay and incest jokes.

  4. #4
    Registered User Mr.Reality's Avatar
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    I didn't use any gay material last year and I lost.

  5. #5
    Registered User Crisis's Avatar
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    ugly and flee rhyme?
    Quote Originally Posted by LOSman WINS
    Vanek is Austrian not European
    Quote Originally Posted by Prov401
    Pacquiao isn't asian. He's from the philippines
    Quote Originally Posted by better days
    I will not be surprised if Tebow has more success than Peyton in the NFL.

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    81 st zoner mybills's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lordofgun

    Patrick thinks he's Mr. Witty
    But his rhymes ask for nothing but pity.
    My foot in his mouth
    I'll send it down south
    And then I will rip off his titty.
    I didn't come here to fight, I hate fighting. Life is way too short to spend it on fighting! Go fight with yourself, one of you will eventually win!

  7. #7
    Shinier than your mom Shiny Chicken's Avatar
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    I want to write more in My "LOG Saga"

    L.O.G. was a message board hack
    Whose ass had a really huge crack.
    Whenever he farts,
    Ontario parts
    And he asks for a pat on the back.

    For every bean that touches his lip
    Another pair of panties will rip
    We'll never have peace
    From his big giant crease
    'Til he's dead and his headstone says "RIP"

    I warn you to never stray near
    This behemoth's dangerous rear
    You may get blown away
    Or worse, you could stay
    In the wake of a stench with no peer

    I think now, my story is done
    If ever you see him, do run
    Stay out of the path
    Of his horrible wrath
    For they say he can block out the sun


  8. #8
    Registered User SabreEleven's Avatar
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    OpIv likes to get free cheese
    He stands in line with rather ease
    I say “get a job,
    You big fat slob
    No, he says I want be like my hero, mchurchfie

    OpIv says he hates his job
    Probably cause he has to blow some guy name Bob
    “I am bored” he cackled
    Maybe cause he is tired of his eyes getting spackled
    He can be another Log’s ***** and be a mod.

    There once was a man named OpIv
    Who liked to service the boys at sea
    He was thought to be a queer
    But I wouldn’t fear
    His dick is a big as a pea

  9. #9
    Lecter's Little Bitch
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    I think mine weren't too bad last time against Mr. Reality

    Look out kids! Here comes Mr. Reality
    Out on parole from the penitentiary
    But he’s now a changed man
    With plenty of help in the can
    He found his true calling in homosexuality

    Want to turn that toothpick between your hips
    Into something blooming like beautiful tullips?
    Look who is kidding who
    Viagra won’t help you
    Try masking tape and a couple of Q-tips

    MR trying to score with an hourly honey
    But with $12.63 the ho thought he was funny
    “You’ll have better luck,
    if you really want to f**k,
    spend it in the pet store on a toothless bunny!”

    Don't you know how to talk smack?
    You can’t touch me with that, jack
    Save yourself some time
    there is not enough rhyme
    To stop me from smoking MR like he’s crack

    It was tough last round facing D
    He’s good with rhyming everyone could see
    But it’s easy beating you
    Clearly you didn’t even go to schoo
    Nor can you say “Hooked on Phonics worked for me!”

  10. #10
    81 st zoner mybills's Avatar
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    you balding beer belly slobs
    all of you internet hogs
    with your mouth full of sass
    and your head up log's ass
    I am sure you're Canadian frogs

  11. #11
    Without me it's just Awe so The King's Avatar
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    Your jokes are dumb and lame
    each one leaves me in pain
    You must really hate your cat
    Cause your pussy wears a hat
    When in public he feels nothing but shame
    I remember that one fateful day when Coach took me aside. I knew what was coming. "You don't have to tell me," I said. "I'm off the team, aren't I?"
    "Well," said Coach, "you never were really ON the team. You made that uniform you're wearing out of rags and towels, and your helmet is a toy space helmet.
    You show up at practice and then either steal the ball and make us chase you to get it back, or you try to tackle people at inappropriate times."
    It was all
    true what he was saying. And yet, I thought something is brewing inside the head of this Coach.
    He sees something in me, some kind of raw talent that he can
    mold. But that's when I felt the handcuffs go on.



  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mr. Miyagi
    I think mine weren't too bad last time against Mr. Reality

    Look out kids! Here comes Mr. Reality
    Out on parole from the penitentiary
    But he’s now a changed man
    With plenty of help in the can
    He found his true calling in homosexuality

    Want to turn that toothpick between your hips
    Into something blooming like beautiful tullips?
    Look who is kidding who
    Viagra won’t help you
    Try masking tape and a couple of Q-tips

    MR trying to score with an hourly honey
    But with $12.63 the ho thought he was funny
    “You’ll have better luck,
    if you really want to f**k,
    spend it in the pet store on a toothless bunny!”

    Don't you know how to talk smack?
    You can’t touch me with that, jack
    Save yourself some time
    there is not enough rhyme
    To stop me from smoking MR like he’s crack

    It was tough last round facing D
    He’s good with rhyming everyone could see
    But it’s easy beating you
    Clearly you didn’t even go to schoo
    Nor can you say “Hooked on Phonics worked for me!”
    I thought this round was limericks, not a Detroit rap battle.

  13. #13
    Without me it's just Awe so The King's Avatar
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    The Rapping asian. Moo Shu


  14. #14
    Lecter's Little Bitch
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    Guess you've never seen this guy.

    http://media.ebaumsworld.com/rapoff.wmv

  15. #15
    81 st zoner mybills's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MBBedard
    Your jokes are dumb and lame
    each one leaves me in pain
    You must really hate your cat
    Cause your pussy wears a hat
    When in public he feels nothing but shame
    You are a Drew lover
    To you there's no other
    Your posts are exhaustin'
    Like others from Bostin
    Sadly your dad broke his rubber

  16. #16
    Without me it's just Awe so The King's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mybills
    You are a Drew lover
    To you there's no other
    Your posts are exhaustin'
    Like others from Bostin
    Sadly your dad broke his rubber

    You un-original hag,
    Your sex life requires a paper bag,
    You want a war?
    I wont fight with a whore,
    Or one who resembles a stag.

  17. #17
    81 st zoner mybills's Avatar
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    I don't get the paper bag reference!

  18. #18
    Without me it's just Awe so The King's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mybills
    I don't get the paper bag reference!
    LOL, Never heard of brown baggin it?

  19. #19
    81 st zoner mybills's Avatar
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    nope, don't need one for doggy style!

  20. #20
    Without me it's just Awe so The King's Avatar
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    Yeah I guess a brown bag would get in the way of a donkey punch

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