So I was driving today and for no apparent reason my friend Erik (see Erikisms post) just started waiving to randoms going the other way. Well he waived to this girl who was going the opposite way and she had I am assuming her boyfriend with her, because when they stopped at the light just 10-15 feet from me I could see him like flipping out I can just imagine the "who was that, why were you waiving....etc" he was giving her.
It gets better......
My roommate Erik and I.......well my old roommate and another friend were hanging out since im back in VA for a few days. So we walk into Exxon just to grab a few drinks as I come around the chip aisle Erik runs past me and comes up behind our other friend and de-pants him in front of god and everyone. Jeremiah is flopping around like a ****** and bumps into the chip rack knocking it over then starts wiggling on the ground trying to get his pants up. He tries to get up and grabs hold of the shelf to his right and pulls a candy box down on him but in the process hits himself in the face.
I am just standing there holding one of those huge fountain drinks looking all around me at the destruction we managed in all of 17 seconds. Meanwhile Jeremiah is bleeding and half naked in the middle of the store and Erik is having a stroke outside watching all of this. People are all looking at me like WTF and not the naked man on the floor. I paid for my drink the clerk is like cursing and yelling at us and Jeremiah goes tearing out the store after Erik who stops like 10 feet later because hes now in tears and cant see. So we all pile into my rented SUV and Its like complete silence til Erik can no longer take it and as hes convulsing with laughter asks Jeremiah if it was laundry day........Jeremiah had on nothing underneath. Jeremiah just punched him and in the process spilled my drink all over me and the SUV. But I am NOT going back to that Exxon for a refill, as I believe we were banned for life but I'll have to find an Arabic/English dictionary to know for sure. Something about Allah, Jihad and Doritos.
I need new friends.
Originally Posted by Devin
