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Holiday edition of my favorite ******.
My friend Jeremiah calls me this evening to wish a happy thanksgiving, we chat briefly (he lives in VA and is also friends with Erik). He had been over to Erik's parents house earlier in the day to hang out. They were playing Madden or something when Erik's cell rings.
Its his girlfriend, they chat for a little bit while Jeremiah goes to the bathroom. He comes back to see Eriks mom standing in the doorway looking at Erik. Eriks in the chair with his back turned. Shes being very quiet so Jeremiah knows Erik is likely doing something stupid.
Erik was talking dirty to his girlfriend, but he can't even do that like a normal person. Erik named his penis Sipowicz (you know the cop off of NYPD Blue) because its "fat and bald on top" just like Andy Sipowicz. Clever isnt he. Well this is bad because his mother doesnt know it and Erik keeps saying the name Andy. Eriks father is summoned by his mother over to where they are standing and him being a military man........well this cant end well.
So during dinner its silent until Eriks dad cant take it anymore........ "Erik, who is Andy?". Carlos (Eriks brother) nearly chokes and Erik for once is speechless. Whats he supposed to say? Well Erik doesnt know that his parents listened to his conversation. So he tells his father its his "friend". Course now his father thinks his son is gay.
Eventually Carlos clued him in and he assured his parents he was not gay, when he explained the naming of his meatstick to his father he simply
replied with: "Son, your an idiot".
Couldnt have put it better myself.
So naturally I call Erik soon as I am off the phone with him the conversation went a little something like:
Devin: Happy Thanksgiving Dude
Erik: Yeah.
Devin: So how was your dinner?
Erik: I dont want to talk about it.
Devin: (laughing uncontrollably) Ok.....
Erik: Stop laughing dick.
Devin: Something I said?
Erik: I know why your calling ass-hole.
Devin: To wish you a happy thanksgiving of course.
Erik: I hate you.
Devin: Hows Andy?
Erik: I hate Jeremiah.
His brother Carlos in the backround : What an idiot (laughing)
Erik: I gotta go.
Devin: Give my regards to Sipowicz. Say is that polish?
Erik: **** You.
So I sent flowers via FTD.com to his mom with a card that says "all the best, Andy". Which is funny if she already knows, but 10X funnier if either Erik or his father have to explain.
It cost me $44.82 but its so worth it.
My friend Jeremiah calls me this evening to wish a happy thanksgiving, we chat briefly (he lives in VA and is also friends with Erik). He had been over to Erik's parents house earlier in the day to hang out. They were playing Madden or something when Erik's cell rings.
Its his girlfriend, they chat for a little bit while Jeremiah goes to the bathroom. He comes back to see Eriks mom standing in the doorway looking at Erik. Eriks in the chair with his back turned. Shes being very quiet so Jeremiah knows Erik is likely doing something stupid.
Erik was talking dirty to his girlfriend, but he can't even do that like a normal person. Erik named his penis Sipowicz (you know the cop off of NYPD Blue) because its "fat and bald on top" just like Andy Sipowicz. Clever isnt he. Well this is bad because his mother doesnt know it and Erik keeps saying the name Andy. Eriks father is summoned by his mother over to where they are standing and him being a military man........well this cant end well.
So during dinner its silent until Eriks dad cant take it anymore........ "Erik, who is Andy?". Carlos (Eriks brother) nearly chokes and Erik for once is speechless. Whats he supposed to say? Well Erik doesnt know that his parents listened to his conversation. So he tells his father its his "friend". Course now his father thinks his son is gay.
Eventually Carlos clued him in and he assured his parents he was not gay, when he explained the naming of his meatstick to his father he simply
replied with: "Son, your an idiot".
Couldnt have put it better myself.
So naturally I call Erik soon as I am off the phone with him the conversation went a little something like:
Devin: Happy Thanksgiving Dude
Erik: Yeah.
Devin: So how was your dinner?
Erik: I dont want to talk about it.
Devin: (laughing uncontrollably) Ok.....
Erik: Stop laughing dick.
Devin: Something I said?
Erik: I know why your calling ass-hole.
Devin: To wish you a happy thanksgiving of course.
Erik: I hate you.
Devin: Hows Andy?
Erik: I hate Jeremiah.
His brother Carlos in the backround : What an idiot (laughing)
Erik: I gotta go.
Devin: Give my regards to Sipowicz. Say is that polish?
Erik: **** You.
So I sent flowers via FTD.com to his mom with a card that says "all the best, Andy". Which is funny if she already knows, but 10X funnier if either Erik or his father have to explain.
It cost me $44.82 but its so worth it.
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