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Thread: Erik Strikes again.

  1. #1
    The Octagon Devin's Avatar
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    Erik Strikes again.

    Holiday edition of my favorite retard.

    My friend Jeremiah calls me this evening to wish a happy thanksgiving, we chat briefly (he lives in VA and is also friends with Erik). He had been over to Erik's parents house earlier in the day to hang out. They were playing Madden or something when Erik's cell rings.

    Its his girlfriend, they chat for a little bit while Jeremiah goes to the bathroom. He comes back to see Eriks mom standing in the doorway looking at Erik. Eriks in the chair with his back turned. Shes being very quiet so Jeremiah knows Erik is likely doing something stupid.

    Erik was talking dirty to his girlfriend, but he can't even do that like a normal person. Erik named his penis Sipowicz (you know the cop off of NYPD Blue) because its "fat and bald on top" just like Andy Sipowicz. Clever isnt he. Well this is bad because his mother doesnt know it and Erik keeps saying the name Andy. Eriks father is summoned by his mother over to where they are standing and him being a military man........well this cant end well.

    So during dinner its silent until Eriks dad cant take it anymore........ "Erik, who is Andy?". Carlos (Eriks brother) nearly chokes and Erik for once is speechless. Whats he supposed to say? Well Erik doesnt know that his parents listened to his conversation. So he tells his father its his "friend". Course now his father thinks his son is gay.

    Eventually Carlos clued him in and he assured his parents he was not gay, when he explained the naming of his meatstick to his father he simply
    replied with: "Son, your an idiot".

    Couldnt have put it better myself.

    So naturally I call Erik soon as I am off the phone with him the conversation went a little something like:

    Devin: Happy Thanksgiving Dude
    Erik: Yeah.
    Devin: So how was your dinner?
    Erik: I dont want to talk about it.
    Devin: (laughing uncontrollably) Ok.....
    Erik: Stop laughing dick.
    Devin: Something I said?
    Erik: I know why your calling ass-hole.
    Devin: To wish you a happy thanksgiving of course.
    Erik: I hate you.
    Devin: Hows Andy?
    Erik: I hate Jeremiah.
    His brother Carlos in the backround : What an idiot (laughing)
    Erik: I gotta go.
    Devin: Give my regards to Sipowicz. Say is that polish?
    Erik: **** You.

    So I sent flowers via FTD.com to his mom with a card that says "all the best, Andy". Which is funny if she already knows, but 10X funnier if either Erik or his father have to explain.

    It cost me $44.82 but its so worth it.

  2. #2
    In a jar, on a shelf, next to the unopened Miracle Whip.
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    Re: Erik Strikes again.


  3. #3
    Registered User L.A. Playa's Avatar
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    Re: Erik Strikes again.


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    Registered User Michael82's Avatar
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    Re: Erik Strikes again.

    OMG! That's ****ing hilarious!






  5. #5
    The Octagon Devin's Avatar
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    Re: Erik Strikes again.

    Yeah I cant wait for the flowers to get there. I put Friday delivery but it may be saturday since I ordered late.

  6. #6
    Registered User chernobylwraiths's Avatar
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    Re: Erik Strikes again.

    Another blatant attempt to make the voters think of Devin as the best storyteller.

    Oh and:

    his father he simply
    replied with: "Son, your an idiot".
    you're



    Could you send flowers to my wife from Emo?

  7. #7
    Registered User LtBillsFan66's Avatar
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    Re: Erik Strikes again.


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    Registered User BAM's Avatar
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    Re: Erik Strikes again.

    Good stuff, Devin. LOL


  9. #9
    The Octagon Devin's Avatar
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    Re: Erik Strikes again.


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  10. #10
    Registered User L.A. Playa's Avatar
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    Re: Erik Strikes again.

    should have gotten something pink

  11. #11
    The Octagon Devin's Avatar
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    Re: Erik Strikes again.

    lol.

  12. #12
    Registered User Forward_Lateral's Avatar
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    Re: Erik Strikes again.

    Holy doodle, I think I busted a rib.

  13. #13
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    Re: Erik Strikes again.

    Erik gets my vote for zoner of the year.
    I remember that one fateful day when Coach took me aside. I knew what was coming. "You don't have to tell me," I said. "I'm off the team, aren't I?"
    "Well," said Coach, "you never were really ON the team. You made that uniform you're wearing out of rags and towels, and your helmet is a toy space helmet.
    You show up at practice and then either steal the ball and make us chase you to get it back, or you try to tackle people at inappropriate times."
    It was all
    true what he was saying. And yet, I thought something is brewing inside the head of this Coach.
    He sees something in me, some kind of raw talent that he can
    mold. But that's when I felt the handcuffs go on.



  14. #14
    Registered User Forward_Lateral's Avatar
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    Re: Erik Strikes again.

    Quote Originally Posted by MBBedard
    Erik gets my vote for zoner of the year.
    Mine too. Stories about him are priceless.

  15. #15
    Registered User Sabre Ally's Avatar
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    Re: Erik Strikes again.

    lol. too funny

  16. #16
    81 st zoner mybills's Avatar
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    Re: Erik Strikes again.

    LMFAO!!!!
    I didn't come here to fight, I hate fighting. Life is way too short to spend it on fighting! Go fight with yourself, one of you will eventually win!

  17. #17
    The Octagon Devin's Avatar
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    Re: Erik Strikes again.


  18. #18
    Registered User RedEyE's Avatar
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    Re: Erik Strikes again.


  19. #19
    Registered User Michael82's Avatar
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    Re: Erik Strikes again.

    Don't forget to fill us in when he gets the flowers.

  20. #20
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    Re: Erik Strikes again.


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