One Fan's View: How the 'Bledsoe' are you?

by Kevin Shenoy

Good news first, right? Well, the SPCA said they’d give us fans the medicine they give really old dogs when their time is up. There is bad news associated to it though. The makers of that shot are also the makers of the flu shot, so we won’t be able to get any until after January. So what a perfect segue into all the crap that I witnessed on Sunday. After watching the Ravens game, I can now say I know what it feels like to be Mary Kate Olsen after a big meal. I felt like vomiting from 1pm straight through until the 4th quarter. There isn’t an expletive that has been created to adequately cover my frustration. They all seem so trite. The F-word isn’t doing it. Usually a staple that has carried me for so many years, is just not quenching any of my anger. Perhaps the new word is Bledsoe.

Let me try. “BLEDSOE!!” “What the Bledsoe are you doing?” “Are you Bledsoe kidding me?” “Girlfriend, are you Bledsoeing Joe down the street?” Yep, I found my new curse word.

For those of you not in the know, I am Hindu. What does this have to do with football? Well, interestingly enough, I believe in reincarnation. So whatever you did in your past life kind of determines the life you get now. And before the last two seasons, I have to say I thought I had a really nice life. So I figured I must have done some good in my past life. But the complete idiocy of the last 20+ Bills games, have me thinking that I must have been a real bastard. Five turnovers? Field goals in the Red zone? Josh Reed still in a uniform? What did I do to deserve such misery? Did I kill someone? I repent for anything I may have done. Can someone please just make it stop? I’m so very sorry.

I have to say I thoroughly enjoyed today’s “game”. We really have a knack at making people who aren’t that good look like all-stars. Deion Sanders for example,. Effectively shut down for 7 weeks in the NFL, he is now going to be the talk of the week. Additionally, add the entire Ravens offense. They were supposed to be a joke. But they looked amazing in the first half. I was jealous when they scored two offensive touchdowns in a game.

Too much freaking drama comes with cheering for this team. We should get a show on Fox called “One O.P.” At least the writers could write some witty dialogue for the post game. The same damn comments. “We’re going to have to look at the film.” What the Bledsoe are you talking about? I watched the film. There is nothing in there. You guys are going to have to tear the “fall apart and look confused” pages out of the playbook. Frankly, I don’t know why their in there, and why we keep calling them. I can see in the huddle, “hey, Henry, we’re going to snap the ball and not block on the left side. That’s what the playbook says. Then you’re going to run left.” Everyone claps and they set at the line. “Ok, Eric, you run your pro bowl body through the endzone like a gazelle. I’m going to needlessly through it about 4 feet behind you. Got it? Great. BREAK!” They clap and set again. “Ok, guys, this one they called my number. I apparently have to get nervous and throw the ball to the other team. Awesome.”

Everyone is probably calling for JP. I’m ready for him to suck as well. He’s a rookie and he’s playing for Buffalo. But part of me thinks that if he can be the NFL QB that the NFL is showing you have to be, I think people will start laying off the line. This loss really was all Bledsoe. Even his completions were ugly. Early in the game, he had Josh Reed running all alone in the middle and he tossed it so high, Reed had to go up for it. I guess the paradox is if he throws it on target Reed drops it. Bledsoe took the standard drop back, pitter pattering of the feet and then gets crunched. He then has the audacity in the post game to say he needs more time. Unless you are Mick Jagger, time is not on your side buddy. Time is of the essence. You can’t ask for more of it. You got to make due with what you got. That’s why few people make good leaders. A leader can’t blow plays on a regular basis and then come off the field looking rattled, tired, and uninspired. Lead follow or get out of the way Drew

Kevin’s DVD extras:

- So I knew, like many of you when Deion was dancing to the end zone, the game was over. I know my dad probably turned the game off and went about his business right after that play. He almost 100% of the time knows when to give up. It’s a gift really. I’m the idiot who’s always like, “dude, Dad, its 52-17. Dallas has done all it can do…now we go on the offensive and get Super Bowl 27 back on the track.” I’d say I got that from my mother, but she doesn’t like football. So she’s smarter than the two of us put together.

- The crappiness of the Bills has also contributed to getting the worst T.V. analyst coverage for the games. That adds to the boredom.

- I don’t know how Boston 2004 became like Silicon Valley 1999. Does every major sports event have to happen to them? And again with the luck. Coming back from 3 games down in the ALCS, I was briefly inspired to think it could happen to us. But no. It’s official, I hate Boston.

- The random Bills fans that you don’t know by name at the Bills bar in NYC would look at you with the glance people exchange at funerals. Their eyes say “I’m real sorry, man” and all you can do is purse your lips together and fight out a smile. I don’t know if I had the will to watch football beaten out of me so badly. I am waiting for the Bills to bring a little respect and decency to the city of Buffalo.

- I’m going to the Bills-Cardinals game. I’m as patriotic as the next guy, but can we stop the fly overs? I only say this because the last one during the Miami game was like 200 feet over the edge of the stadium. The stadium went dead silent after it for like two seconds. Wetting oneself before the offense takes the field, takes away the one special moment that I get with the starting O..

- Since that game is being played on Halloween, can the Bills dress up like a football team this Sunday?

- Can the corporate sponsorship at the Ralph change. Can Celino and Barnes donate $10,000 for every person who boos when the bills offense is introduced? Can the Tim Horton’s Mascot line up on the O line? Can the race to the stadium change to the race home? Now those are contributions that we can use.

Kevin Shenoy is a member of the New York City Bills Backers