A Blowout Win...Big Deal

by Jim Byrne

Before Buffalo Nation gets all excited over this 38-point outburst Sunday in Buffalo, we all have to remember one thing. Well, two actually. Today was Halloween, and today the Buffalo Bills played the sad sack Arizona Cardinals who have now lost 17-straight on the road. Forget Freddy vs. Jason, this was more like Tinkerbelle vs. Alex Rodriguez, and A-Rod’s "slap heard round the world" was all the Bills needed to dispose of the sorry Cardinals. This game was basically an all-world sissy fight between two teams with fan bases that have seen some sorrowful times in recent years and in this season.

Just like the Buffalo-Miami game a few weeks ago, somebody had to win this meaningless affair. And the Bills did, somehow winning 38-14 while only gaining 209 yards on offense and not picking off a pass or recovering a fumble on defense.

Again, though, it’s Halloween, these kinds of things happen. Even to woeful teams like the Buffalo Bills.

But hey, maybe I’m being a little too harsh. What can I say though, the Bills have made me a very cynical man. It didn’t help seeing the Boston Red Sox, a team that for years made the Bills look like a "lucky" franchise, finally get theirs on Wednesday night after 86 years of futility.

I mean c’mon, the Boston Red Sox? When is it going to be our turn? Aren’t they the team with "the curse?" If they’re cursed, then what the heck are we?

Oh yeah, how could I forget, the Bills have been Collinsed, Van Pelted, Johnsoned, Flutied and Bledsoed all in a span of eight years, something far worse than any curse. Sadly, I own all of those players’ jerseys. Yes, even Todd Collins’ jersey. No, I’m not on drugs.

Remind me not to buy Losman’s, maybe I’m the guy putting the hex on these quarterbacks.

Anyway, barring getting eaten by a shark or killed by a doll that comes to life, I figure I have a solid 50 years left for a miracle to happen for the Bills. That isn’t a very long time, I’m getting worried here. 86 years passed between the two Red Sox championships. Eighty-six years. Eek.

When the Bills finally win a championship, I bet they’ll show those funny graphics about how life was when they last won a Super Bowl title. Wait a second, scratch that. I guess they’ll just show a graphic about the last time they won an AFC title.

I can just see it now. The year is 2078 and the Bills are headed to Super Bowl XVLXXVIIIXLVIIIIILLLXXXX and the announcers, Al Michaels Version 3.0 and RoboMadden are laughing about the fact that cars were grounded and we only paid $100 dollars for a pair of sneakers. Then RoboMadden malfunctions because he has to talk about the Bills for the first time in his life. It gets ugly, with "Bams!" flying everywhere and sparks shooting out of mouth.

What am I talking about? Do you see what the Bills are doing to me?!?

At least they were able to fend off the Cardinals, because that loss would have spurred me to just start running like Forrest Gump did in his self-titled film. I would have run all the way to Miami just to punch Jay Fiedler in the face. Why? Because it would seem like the right thing to do at the right time.

I said before that I wasn’t on drugs, but I sure am high on Willis McGahee! I really think McGahee is going to be the real deal. His 30 carries for 102 yards and two touchdowns just plain made me a happy man. I know that Travis Henry is a solid back, but I think he has hit the proverbial glass ceiling. He isn’t and never will be able to completely take over a game. McGahee has already done this twice in his only two starts for Buffalo. That is what we call promise where I come from.

If Buffalo can get their 2005 first round draft pick by trading Henry away, the Bills may be onto something with a young nucleus on offense.

Also, if they can trade Bledsoe’s 81-yard throwing tukas for something equivalent in the offseason, like a mossy log, all Bills fans can put behind the high hopes and dismal failures that go hand in hand with Bledsoe’s tenure as a Buffalo Bill.

Let’s face, there is no way this team is doing anything with this guy at the helm. Hopefully, J.P. Losman will be ready soon so the Bills can get younger and quicker on offense. Even with the win, watching this guy just plain turns my stomach. I can’t take it anymore.

Maybe I’m an idiot, but I really like the sound of a Losman-McGahee-Moulds-Evans offense. Granted Losman is unproven and McGahee still has that magical mystery knee that may very well explode again one day, but on paper, that unit’s potential is just plain scary.

Again though, I might just be a complete and total idiot. Remember, I do own a Todd Collins jersey, so my sanity is something that is in question here.

But c’mon, Losman, McGahee, Moulds and Evans on offense with a nasty defense that still have plenty of upside? That has to give even the most skeptical Bills fan a hope for the future.

After all, hope for the future is all we have left at this point.

Oh yeah, how could I forget? Terry McGee freakin’ rules! Two kickoff returns for touchdowns in the same season? For Buffalo? You have to love it.

This column appears weekly for the Erie Times-News at GoErie.com Jim Byrne also writes for his own site at ZubazPants.com