Oh, Those Wacky Buffalo Bills!

by Jim Byrne

It’s just too bad that the Buffalo Bills could not play all of their games inside the friendly confines of Ralph Wilson Stadium. When they are home inside the Ralph, where they have won the last four games, the Bills play with the energy and madness of a Mr. Hyde, as opposed to their wussy Dr. Jekyll alter ego that they display on the road.

Like I’ve been saying all season, it just makes being a Buffalo fan all the more frustrating. One week they have you believing in a playoff run, and the next they look like they could be beaten by a team comprised of N’Sync, the Backstreet Boys and Ricky Martin at quarterback.

I should just shave my head at this point, because I’m going to have about half a head of hair by the time the season is over with all the hair pulling I’ve been doing. You might mistake me for Road Warrior Hawk (R.I.P.) right now the way my head looks.

Despite the ulcers that the Bills give me because of their INCREDIBLE inconsistency, Sunday afternoon’s game in Buffalo against the St. Louis Rams was a walk in the park both for the Bills and my mindset. As Ted Danson would say on Curb Your Enthusiasm, “It was heaven.”

St. Louis was able to jump to a quick 10-0 lead, and it looked as if the Bills had picked up right where they left off from last week’s debacle in New England. I was ready to change the channel and watch the cinematic genius that was “Ed,” a movie starring Matt Le Blanc and a chimpanzee, but no, Buffalo would go on a surreal 37-7 run to close out the game.

I still have a hard to believing that actually happened, and it’s a solid two hours after the game has ended. What’s after “the denial” phase? Am I going to start uncontrollably sobbing in a few moments? I better saran-wrap my keyboard “Gallagher-style” just in case.

Heck, even maligned Drew Bledsoe looked good in throwing three touchdown passes, all to tight end Mark Campbell. My heart is still recovering from that fact.

But even though Bledsoe and the offense played well on Sunday, most of the credit must go to the special teams and defense, both of which crushed the spirits of the Rams time and again. Especially in the aesthetically pleasing second half.

Jonathan Smith got things rolling in returning a punt 53 yards to the St. Louis 5 yard line after the Rams went three and out to start the second half, and Bledsoe then connected with Campbell on the very next play for a touchdown.

Things got worse for Marc Bulger and the Rams from there on, as they went three and out again on the very next drive. Nate Clements then returned the subsequent punt 86 yards to the house, giving Buffalo a commanding 31-17 lead.

I laughed, I cried, I wet my pants.

All in all in that magical second half, Buffalo was able to limit the Rams to 0 points on 93 yards, 65 of them coming on one drive that ended with Sam Adams snatching a Bulger pass out of the air with his meaty paws for an interception in the red zone. The Bills also had two other interceptions, one by Takeo Spikes and one from Terry McGee in the endzone to make it three against Bulger on the day. It was a dominating performance by the potent Bills defense with just the three interceptions, but they also added six sacks, three from Lawyer Milloy, in looking just plain awesome.

Oh, those wacky Bills! What will they do next?

Barring the Bills running the table in the final six games, the playoffs are certainly out of the question with the amount of contenders in the AFC. But what the Bills can do to salvage this lost season, is get to 8-8 at least, to build confidence for 2005 and prevent the first round pick that the Bills traded to Dallas Cowboys for J.P. Losman last year from being one in the top ten.

That would just be embarrassing. Not as embarrassing as Rob Johnson’s career, but embarrassing nonetheless.

Up next for the Bills is a road trip to Seattle, where they will face the slumping Seahawks. Although there is no reason to believe that the Bills can mimic their performance today, a win there would bring Buffalo’s record to 5-6 with remaining games at Miami, vs. Cleveland, at Cincinnati, at San Francisco and vs. a Pittsburgh team that will most certainly have clinched the division by week 17.

“Interesting” schedule, but I’m keeping my mouth shut because I know when I write this next week I’ll be calling for Bledsoe’s head again after the throws for 57 yards in a 30-10 loss on the road.

But hey, these Bills, who are 0-4 on the road, are really due for a win away from Buffalo.

Right?

This column appears weekly in the Erie Times-News. Jim Byrne is also a writer for his website at ZubazPants.com