Spam From Ralph?

by Patrick Irving

This is an exciting time for all NFL teams because they know that the one missing piece of their puzzle is just a trade or free agent signing away. But beware! Any time there are prospectors panning for gold, there are opportunists looking to exploit their optimism (or greed).

At the very least, club officials should be wary of basic e-mail phishing scams like this…




SUBJECT: ATTENTION! COLLECT MILLIONS IN REWARD MONEY!!!

From: oldmanwilson@bfbills.com
Date: March 7, 2008
To: chucky@tbbucs.com; blankman@atlfal.com; ziggy@minnyvike.com; tuna@midolph.com; herm@kacychief.com



ATTN: Sir or Madam

I am Mr. Ralph Wilson, a very famous businessman aged eighty-nine (89). My reputation for honesty is known all over far-off exotic places like Lackawanna and Cheektowaga, so you can be sure this e-mail is not a scam.

Among my other assets and responsibilities, I am the personal custodian of a very rich and successful professional by the name of JP Losman. As you probably read in your newspapers, Mr. Losman has been wrongly imprisoned for the past four years and is in desperate need of a change of scenery. In exchange for your assistance, Mr. Losman promises you a great fortune.

You see, Mr. Losman has all the tools of a Super Bowl winning quarterback: a strong arm; playmaking ability; leadership skills. I am sure you also read about this in your newspaper. But because of this wretched scenery – from which he desperately needs a change – he has not been free to use his skills to cash in on a lucrative Super Bowl victory. Instead, he has been forced to toil in mediocrity (at best).

So this is why he asked me to contact you. Your name was given to us by very important people who know you can be trusted. If you provide me with the necessary (and modest) funds to free Mr. Losman today, he will guarantee you tens or possibly hundreds of millions of dollars over the next 5-8 years.

I know this sounds too good to be true, but believe me it is not. Mr. Losman is desperate to be free and I am duty-bound to do anything in my power to help him. This is an opportunity for you to save a great man AND become rich in the process. I envy your position. But I also trust you will make the most of this opportunity.

I want you to write me as soon as possible so I can have my office begin the paperwork. You will wire me a modest six figure sum and the rights to some of your more inexperienced and unproven labor pool. Then, in as little as eleven (11) months – after your first of many Super Bowl victories – hundreds of millions of dollars will be paid to you.

Please keep this situation a private matter, though. Some may warn you not to help Mr. Losman out of fear of retribution or ridicule. People like this have already hurt Mr. Losman so much. I would hate to see that happen again.

Please get in touch with me right away. When I receive your response, I will furnish you with all relevant information that will facilitate your fortune. Also an Application will have to be filed with the Bank for processing so please prepare all of your personal information – including Social Security Number – for the file.

Best Regards,


Ralph Wilson