It is almost the start of the 2013 NFL season and I can’t hardly wait. I know. I know. I ended last year on a big downer. I was anti-everything the Bills tried. I thought this rebuild would be as pathetic as the last couple. But two preseason games into campaign 2013, and I’m fired up.
Sure pre-season games rarely showcase how good a team will be in regular season, but I like that the Bills actually look like an NFL team thus far. True, EJ has not had a chance to look good against starters. But we aren’t making excuses for him either. He looks good for a rookie learning something new. Hell, he even looks like him might be ahead of the curve (not withstanding injury). This is better than any other QB in the last 13 years. I’ll take it. And I’m unafraid of wild speculation.
On defense, they actually seems really cerebral. Last year the Bills did not get pressure on the quarterback all season. The only time they did was when an offense let them through to open up a huge screen play. Even when it’s fourth stringers out there, they all seem to diagnose the play very quickly. Signs of good coaching seem to be showing itself.
That brings me to coaching. Past regimes were barely qualified and being scared of losing their jobs, they went out and found less qualified assistants so that they wouldn’t lose their jobs. Marrone, a first time coach, went and grabbed Pettine knowing that he has an impressive resume and most likely can turn a decent effort in Buffalo into a head coaching job. He did it knowing that if he falters, people will call for Pettine. That’s gutsy. And that’s something we haven’t had in 13 years.
This year we have a season that is impossible to tell what can happen. If the Bills win in week 1 and they do it convincingly, the sky is the limit. That old rust that held us back every year peels right off like a good power wash. It could be the most fun we’ve had watching a Bills team since the 1990’s. They lose in week 1, and it’s the same old Bills. What do I think will happen? I’m torn. Could go either way, but I think it’s more fun predicting a fun wild ride for a change.
With no further ado, I present my predictions for the 2013 season with my Google glasses set to rosy tint.
Week 1 Pats – Oh god. If we are going into this game fairly healthy, I love our chances. Marrone seems like a guy who knows how to handle the extreme ups and downs in a season. I would expect the Bills to come out charged up but not a sloppy penalty filled team. Even with the Patriots and their cheating ways, I think the wheels have to eventually come off. No more Welker, no TE’s to which to throw, a line that Brady has yelled at more and more in recent years, and a defense that hasn’t done much of anything. If the Patriots remain a power house this season, it would be nice if we could get a full disclosure on what Goodell threw out, because there is literally no one on this team on either side of the ball. If the Patriots are anything but a 4-12 season, this is the biggest indictment that the Patriots are still cheating.
In my happy little world, the Bills give the Patriots a 2002 beat down. The Bills swarming defense comes from every angle and hits Brady until he starts crying. Ed Hochuli has to slap him to stop him. There will be a moment when the Bills are up big in the first half and You will say at halftime, “they’ll find a way to blow this. Just like last year.” But they don’t. And now at 7pm, you are opening the bedside table where you have your $5 vegas ticket on the Bills winning this year’s superbowl. You leave the room singing “I’ve got the golden Ticket” from Willy Wonka. Bills 42 Pats 10. W
Week 2 Carolina – You’ve been here before in 2008 and 2011. Hot starts that fizzle away. You will not get into it this year. You’ve been burned too many times, but they are the Panthers in Buffalo. How many Bills teams in the last 13 years have seen these type of teams that we should beat at home and lose in the last second? This game is just solid Buffalo running followed by a sense that Cam Newton and the team just gave up in the 3rd quarter. At some point you start thinking, “this is really good, but Iwill not succumb to hot starts. I will not succumb to hot starts.” Bills 24-7 W
Week 3 Jets – Another beatable team. Frankly I feel bad for Jet Fans. They are Bills fans during the Jauron years. They know this isn’t working. They hate Sanchez, the replacement in Geno is so obviously not going to work. It’s like thinking Transformers 2 was going to be better than Transformers 1. This game would be the ultimate payback if the Bills win big. “Oh yeah thanks for the drubbing last year. Here is a beating that will leave the Met empty by the third quarter.” I assume the only people going to these games are the ones with the best heckling. Leave it to disgruntled Jet fans to find a great way to ride their own team better than any of the grief they may have given you over the years. Bills 31 Jets 3 W.
Week 4 Ravens – You’ve tried to put out the thoughts of the ESPN chatter that the Bills have put up 97 points in 3 weeks with a rookie QB who is efficient and a running game that’s unstoppable. You take your Bills medicine and tell co-workers who hate the Bills that you know injuries and other unique events will start befalling the team. However, the medicine wears off when you hear some talking head say (read: John Gruden), “hey, I really like this Bills team. They are playing the Super Bowl defending champs. To be the best, you got to beat the best.” You know this makes no sense as this Ravens team is nothing like last year’s team, yet you find yourself saying this to anyone who will listen, “to be the best you have to beat the best.” And in a boring slugfest that the Bills deserve to lose, they win. Bills 9 Ravens 7 W.
Week 5 Browns – You said you wanted 8 games before we determined how good this Bills team was to avoid the misery of the last 2 hot starts. But Cleveland on a Short week? And the injury list is small? Pessimistic Kevin says the Bills don’t show up for prime time. But then you realize it’s Thursday night and that no one watches these games on the NFL Network. Maintaining tradition, this game’s final score denotes a boring game. But watching the game, the Bills only seem to be getting stronger. “Oh my god, it’s happening!” Bills 17 Browns 7
Week 6 Bengals – There has been an SI cover now. We are one of the few unbeatens. You know the Bengals aren’t the Bengals of 2010, but you can’t help but overlook this game. There just is no way the Bills can lose this game. But they do. The defense is sadly exposed, the run game doesn’t work, and a rattled EJ seems to have plateaued. It’s a drubbing in front of the home folks. The boo birds remain at bay, but you have a sickening feeling. You are so happy you didn’t let that Pats fan co-worker talk you into something stupid. Bills 14 Bengals 33 L
Week 7 Dolphins – How do they respond? Miami did precisely what Bills fans expected but that the national media is only slowly realizing now. They have a dumb owner who spends money recklessly and didn’t make the team any better. The fall is turning colder in upstate New York and watching the sunny game is so excellent when M. Goodwin strangely takes 7 weeks to return his first kick-off for a TD. But he doesn’t disappoint and has a great game. EJ looks like he’s back on track. The Dolphins are legally required prior to the game to apologize for their new logos. Bills 28- Dolphins 10. W.
Week8 Saints – This is a game where an old guard team who hasn’t really been anything other than perennial playoff contenders last 6 years shows the young whippersnappers how it’s done. There is literally no reason for this level of beating. The Bills seem like they should be able to turn the corner and turn it on, but they never do. Oh, and Spiller is hurt late in the game. We all wonder if it was worth pushing Spiller in a game that was lost. Marrone has to say some PR thing like, “there is always a chance to win and that’s the way we play.” Bills fandom after weeks of being in unison and being happy with our fellow fans find a reason to complain. Bills 9 Saints 27.L
Week 9 Chiefs – Prognosis is that Spiller needs to miss this game. We all put aside our differences and agree, “better safe than sorry. We let EJ rest in pre-season and see how that’s worked out.” Someone says something about how the Chiefs suck. However playing in a division where anyone can win (broncos have injuries, SD still is a middling team, and the Raiders are the Raiders), the Chiefs are actually not bad. They stun you by coming to Buffalo and beating the Bills. A game the Bills seemed to have, but now some questionable coaching decisions have caused us to lose…in our own home! Now the bickering amongst fans starts to spill over. This is getting ugly after the first 2 losses in a row! Bills 21 Chiefs 24. L.
Week 10 Steelers – This is awesome. The first back to back losses of the season, Spiller still isn’t ready to go, and now we are off to Pittsburgh to play the Steelers who are just playing like the Steelers in November. By the end of the first half you mumble to yourself, “I told myself 8 weeks, and this damn team starts losing in week 9? You have to be kidding me. Down 14? I hate them. I will give them one offensive series and then I’m done. Really. Forever. I hate the Bills.” Bills get the turnover, drive the field, change momentum. Game is a shootout with the Bills winning on a last second field goal from 41 yards out (or 1 yard outside Fancy I’s range). It’s the first big kick for Hopkins and half of us all realize we all own old guard ST jerseys. 300 Hopkins’ jerseys are ordered on Monday. “Oh my god. I never doubted. NEVER! Superbowl!” Bills 37 Steers 35. W.
Week 11 Jets – Your pity for the Jets is at an all time high. Sanchez looks and feels exactly like Losman at the end of his tenure. Geno is hurt, McElroy is playing. He looks good comparatively. But comparatively, “Shark-nado” was better than “Snakes on a plane”. The Bills don’t even look interested to spank the Jets back to NJ. They settle for the late fall boring Jets game at 14-9 W.
BYE
Week 13 Falcons – Two weeks of not watching the team everyone is now talking about? It’s killing you. You suspect a 4pm game for a hot bills team vs an NFC opponent doesn’t bode well. You are right. It’s a game the Bills simply don’t seem to want. You feel like Spiller should have sat out one more game if he was going to be this ineffective. Bills 13 Falcons24. It isn’t that close. You tweet the NFL to stop this insanity with the Toronto games. The NFL sends you a bill for $2.14 for making them do anything.
Week 14 Bucs – You think before this game starts, “hey, the Bills haven’t had that much adversity. You know that this is going to be terrible for the playoffs. You know they are a one and done team. I can’t believe this. After all this excitement, they are going to let me down in the playoffs. WANKERS!” The Bills return the opening kick for a TD. Stevie Johnson tells Revis hello by schooling him one more time. Now you think this team might just be the 90’s team, re-incarnated. Bills 24- Bucs 12. Fancy I nails all 4 kicks from over 40 yards for the Bucs. Classic. Guy was unreliable outside 40 to the point of never being used, now he just boots 4 40+er’s without hesitation.
WEek15 Jags – Everything is going well for the Bills, you haven’t even read the obligatory, “buffalo is a team being talked about for relocation.” It’s only about the Jags and their 20k covered seats. The Bills deliver the kind of pounding everyone expected. The Jags have spent the better part of the season being worse than the team that has presented itself in pre-season so far. Bills win 28-8. You notice that Marrone pulled his starters in the late 3rd. Is this really happening? We are thinking about Playoff implications?
Week 16 Dolphins – You have been waiting so patiently to destroy the dolphins in an exciting home game. The football gods provide an ungodly amount of snow. The Dolphins look miserable. The Stadium is rocking like old times. You can not believe that they won the AFC east. Bills 24-0. Do I storm the field?
Week17 Pats – “yes, they are missing the playoffs, we are in. We have a bye week. Suck it New England, SUCK IT!” The Bills rest all starters except CJ to get him the rushing title despite missing 4 games. He gets it. The Patriots unload a world of ass whooping on the Bills but it doesn’t matter. You know they had to cheat to beat Jeff Tuel and the backups. Bills 18 Patriots 42.
Overall: This is absurd. I get it. 11-5 for this team is asking a lot. But don’t you feel like this team is actually a team? It feels like Voltron, and Marrone forms the head. Positions I had no faith in 5 months ago are areas of strength. Wide Receivers are plentiful, LB’s are playing well. DB’s are…oh, they still suck, but it’s only a few areas that desperately need updates. its not every position in the offense. I doubt it will be as easy as presented, but it won’t be like watching Jauron and Gailey fidgeting over which useless QB to play. I don’t think it’s unrealistic to think the Bills can make the playoffs. Sure the Patriots continuously cheat and will continue to be a powerhouse with absolutely no tools. But if we can win against the other fair teams by being disciplined and smart with some high flying talent on offense, they could be in the running for the East at best and wildcard realistically.
If they get into the playoffs, they have a whole new way to break our hearts. I’m pretty sure they are out of regular season tricks.
Kevin Shenoy can be reached at onefansview@gmail.com and you can follow him on Twitter at @KevinShenoy
